Melissa Yeh

Two years ago, I heard the story of a Chinese man who decided he was going to leave everything he knew and start living in America.  In order to pursue this, he had to start from the bottom.  He was able to arrive in the United States and did what was quite expected of most Asian immigrants; he began working in a Chinese restaurant, the small sort for late nights and comfort food.  There were no former colleagues or friends when he arrived; everyone he passed was a stranger.  He had no education for English.  Slowly but surely, he worked hard and long enough to bring the rest of his family over, his wife and two sons.  His oldest son was three years old when he left; the younger was only a year old.  And yet, the man found his passage to America, not by plane or any easy means, but through small fishing boats.  Without any familiarity of friends or family, not to mention he had no knowledge of the language, he raised himself from the bottom to create his own connections and opportunities.  Alone, he managed all of this.  For ten years, he managed all of this.  For ten years, he did not see his wife and his two sons while they grew.  Willingly, he went through this time in his life all for the sake of hoping his sons would be given beyond the opportunities he had.  This man was my grandfather. 

How do you struggle with good things people say about you?  Suppose success is something you are set up to reach and exceptionally pushed toward, would there even be any issue?  Above average academics, high standards in extracurricular activities such as music or other fine arts, and community involvement are all commendable goals to strive for.  By all means, this should be a positive and an acceptable mentality.  However, I still find myself asking, “Why do strife and broken relationships exist between parents and children despite these positive objectives?  Why are self-image and worth damaged and cultural identity lost between generations?  Why does the eldest child leave for college estranged from parents with a shattered relationship left in its wake?  Moreover, why am I describing strangers I met from a retreat in New York?  Why am I describing a student I met from St. Louis on a mission trip?  Why am I describing not one, but four of the close friends that have left for college from my church?  Why am I afraid I will be describing myself one day?”

For Asian-American students, the results of exposure to stereotypes and pressures of expectations are oftentimes overlooked in severity through how it affects identity and worth within Western society.  The most common stereotype is known as the model minority stereotype and it is defined as a minority group who are successful in education/academics and overall quiescent in manner (“The Model Minority”).  The Immigrant Bargain is defined as children recognizing the struggle and hardship their parents underwent and using it as a driving force to perform well for their parents; overall, they want to guarantee their parents’ effort in bringing the family to the states was not in vain (Bronstein and Chan 183).  In knowing the trials my own grandfather underwent to allow the fortunate opportunities I have today, I bear a deep sense of respect to not waste the hard-earned efforts and comfort my family sacrificed. 

This is a relevant issue, as Asian Americans across the country silently struggle with this exact problem as well as with their own cultural identity, feeling out of place for being raised differently.  The loss of awareness and connection to understanding their own culture leads to misunderstandings that damage relationships between parents and children.  Self worth is oftentimes dependent on merit, leading to an unhealthy mental state.  Currently, another issue arises in the lawsuits claiming Ivy League schools are discriminating against Asian Americans.  The problem is not so much that the schools may or may not be guilty but the fear such discrimination incites in students who are aiming for top universities.  They fear with the expectation from parents looming over them, how will they overcome the odds stacked against them in college admissions?  They question if their diligent efforts will ultimately prove futile. Overall, these issues affect how Asian-American students need to understand their own culture and determine self worth. 

In order to prove the detrimental psychological effects of stereotypes and expectations on Asian-American students are overlooked and need to be addressed properly, I will confirm three arguments: Western stereotypes negatively influence self-image, the cultural expectations placed on Asian-American children are incorrectly based on merit, and Asian Americans lack awareness for mental health in identity and self-worth.  I will refute two counterarguments: the psychological issues in Asian-American students are solely founded on the ignorance of stereotypes from Western culture and society, and the psychological issues of Asian-American students derive solely from the harsh standards in parenting and expectations. 

My first argument follows how Western stereotypes negatively influence self-image for Asian American students, despite seemingly sounding positive.  Upon mention of the ethnicity, Asian, the most common image that comes to mind is East Asian culture consisting of those based in China, Japan, or Korea.  American society oftentimes fails to include people of Indian or Pacific Islander heritage as Asians.  In addition to the assumption where one is always either Chinese, Japanese, or Korean, Asian Americans are oftentimes seen as foreigners, regardless of assimilation into society.  A second or third generation Asian American will still be asked where he or she is from regardless of the fact he himself and his parents may have been born and resided in America for their entire lives (Bronstein and Chan 182).  The most common Asian conception is the model minority stereotype.  Though people may not connect the name, the idea has been widespread across America since the 1960s.  The model minority is a minority group who has attained prosperity and is well educated and quiescent (“The Model Minority”).  In essence, the stereotype will portray Asians as good at math and always achieving high-standing scores in academics.  At first, these definitions may not give any appearance of insult or negative proportions.  Yet if the wording were to be changed to, “Asians must be good at math and cannot afford to get anything other than high standing scores in academics,” the tone and meaning shifts.  Now, these attributes have garnered urgency and have become required standards of behavior.  The insult derives from associating an entire people group with one characteristic, no matter how positive it may be.  The expectations in these standards rise to communicate Asian-American students must naturally have the ability to succeed in grades, especially in math and science.  Furthermore, Asian Americans have begun to feel displaced or flawed for not embodying the model minority.  This thinking, beginning at a young age, continues to influence an unhealthy attitude of how they view themselves.  Young teenagers develop a motivation not founded on wanting to succeed and do well, but rather on the need to fill a quota to feel normal.  The feeling of alienation and estrangement generates distance from identity from cultural differences (Wu and Lee 3).  In addition to the insecurity created by the smart Asian stereotype, those who do not excel in academics because of disorders such as ADHD are hurt even more by this stigma (Wong).  Asians cannot be naturally smarter on any level; there is no foundation for this notion.  The stereotype, no matter how “kindly meant,” is hurtful and detrimental.  Therefore, it must be rejected. 

A second perception claims all Asians generally have an introverted demeanor, in which being quiet is misinterpreted as submissive and unassertive.  When this stereotype is applied in a work environment, Asians rarely achieve high positions in careers such as CEO positions or other director/president titles in large organizations.  In a study conducted by the Buck Gee, Janet Wong and Denise Peck, Asian-American executives who put together data from Google, Intel, Hewlett Packard, LinkedIn and Yahoo for a report published by Ascend, an Asian-American organization, they concluded, “In 2014, whereas 11% of law-firm associates were Asian, 3% of partners were.”  Though Asians are perceived to find success in high school and gain entrance into top tier-universities, the same success is not true for life after college.  A study of Fortune 500 CEOs was conducted by Richard Zweigenhaft and he found, “In 2000 eight of the five hundred were Asian-American, and in 2014 ten were, whereas the women’s tally in the same period rose from four to twenty-four.  Academia, similarly, is stuffed with Asian-American professors, but among America’s 3,000 colleges there are fewer than ten Asian-American presidents (“The Model Minority”).”  In this light, the influence of the stereotype is subtle but still noticeable, since Asians are known as “hardworking yet submissive” but are exploited and kept from their potential.  The lack of respect for opportunities in high authority positions is less commonly recognized, and though it is not necessarily resentment, it does career limit opportunities (Bronstein and Chan 184).

The latest concern in relation to self-image and academic opportunities is the lawsuit and other concerns pending toward Ivy League Schools in racial discrimination against Asian Americans in admissions, particularly Harvard University.  While Affirmative Action acts as a strong advocate in achieving balance in diversity, this is not the case for Asian Americans.  These students feel they must have higher scores than other non-Asian applicants to gain admissions (Jaschik).  While Harvard is being investigated and the Asian Advocacy organizations continue to push for access to records of the admission process, the effect of this issue is significant to those applying and how it alters their view on chances of gaining admissions.  If the racial discrimination has been occurring in Ivy League schools, then the likelihood of entering these schools has decreased, and Asian Americans who apply are being held to an unjust higher standard.  This discovery has created a newfound worry for Asian students, wondering whether their hard work and effort put into academics was worth enough.  Students want to please their parents and perform well, but now the stakes are even higher than they were before.  Moreover, this frame of mind can pit Asian-American students against each other in unhealthy competition.  Another response from Asian-American students might conjure hatred toward African Americans and Hispanic students who supposedly gain entry through lower standards.  Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz even states, “Discriminating against Asians in order to make room for other minorities does not seem right as a matter of principle” (Hartocollis and Saul).  Another fear arises for the question, “If Harvard is allowing this, than how many other schools are as well?”   Many different articles I have researched testify top performing students with near perfect SAT/ACT scores, academics, and extracurricular activities have been rejected without explanation from Ivy League Universities.  Michael Wang had a 36/36 on the ACT, and become a finalist in piano competitions, math competitions, and debate tournaments, yet was rejected from six of the seven Ivy Leagues he applied to (“The Model Minority”).  Austin Jia had a high GPA, near perfect score on the SAT and ACT, involvement on debate team, held the position of tennis captain, and participated in state orchestra, but was rejected from four Ivy League schools (Hartocollis and Saul).  Evidence for whether discrimination is evident is still a matter of inquiry, but the important observation to draw is each student believed success was set up from the achievements they had worked on in high school and were confused and devastated when it was not so.  With high-achieving students to compare themselves to, younger Asian-American students see themselves all the more negatively for not hitting those marks.  The deepest problem occurs when the focus dwells on the perspective that since not even the best could achieve what their parents hope to see their child one day reach, there is no hope for them to even try to.  The perception in which students see themselves needs change for the better. 

The second argument to affirm my thesis is the cultural expectations placed on Asian-American children are incorrectly based on merit.  Asian immigrants first arrived on the West Coast bringing their traditions and worldviews with them.  Buddhist, Taoist, and Confucian philosophies heavily influenced and defined behavior and lifestyle.  These emphasized harmony, family, and group needs over the individual’s needs (180).  Cultural influences relied the most on family, the model family being two parents who cared for their elderly parents and established clear rules and discipline for their children.  The cycle continued when the children became adults and had families of their own.  In interaction with their children, parents are generally not physically or emotionally affectionate in an open manner toward their children.  The effort to communicate care was demonstrated through respect to a sense of responsibility.  The crucial understanding of respect for elders is a monument in culture as it can dictate long-term decisions such as career, marriage, and location for where the children decide to live.  Therefore it is not uncommon to see children choosing academic paths in college, career, or spouse as their parents preferred over their own passions and interests (183).  To choose otherwise is to be seen as disrespectful and ungrateful.  This pressures the child to follow what others determine for him, even if he has no desired interest or enjoyment in the decision. 

In 2011, Amy Chua coined the term “tiger mom” in her book describing Chinese mothers as superior in how they raised children, as opposed to the western archetype.  With incredibly strict guidelines since their early childhood, her two daughters were raised forbidden from any dating, sleepovers, and they were absolutely required to play the piano or violin and receive only A’s in academics.  They could not participate in any drama plays (due to the amount of practice time it required), not play any other instrument of their choice, and had to choose tutoring and music over their social life.  This meant her two daughters underwent difficult tutoring for advanced classes and extensive lessons in piano and violin (Chua 10). In an article Chua states, “The solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish, and shame the child.”  This was literal, as oftentimes and even in public she would criticize her daughters when they were failing and yelled at them, calling them garbage, lazy, and cowardly.  Though not always as extreme, the mentality behind this is quite common among the majority of Asian parents.  Oftentimes, it will result in resentment and stress for both the parent and child.  The practice of breaking down a child for discipline is damaging and when strict discipline becomes verbal abuse, two main reactions follow; as a consequence, the child will either suffer incredibly low self-esteem or accumulate unspoken hostility for his parents.  Like pressure building in a balloon, the unsolved tension will burst into outspoken hatred from the child, and can ultimately destroy the relationship (Wu and Lee 732). 

My third argument is Asian Americans lack awareness for mental health in identity and self-worth.  In addition to their expectations and ideals, Asian parents typically discourage acknowledging any lack of mental health unless extremely severe.  Otherwise, it is dismissed and the desire to seek help in terms of counseling is not only considered unnecessary but also frowned upon (Bronstein and Chan 185).  Experiencing this attitude and refusal to acknowledge attention to mental health, the child can perceive the relationship is built on vulgar methods of criticism and lack of affection.  Amy Chua’s method employs verbal abuse within the environment to stimulate academic discipline.  In a national study led by Michael Spencer, Juan Chen, Gilbert Gee, Cathryn Fabian, and David Takeguchi, the number of Asian Americans utilizing mental health services was found to be significantly lower than the non-Asian population.  They conducted the study through a series of questions asking about formal and informal means of mental health-related service use, racial discrimination, language proficiency, and barriers to service use.  Informal means consists of seeking online self-help chats, or relying upon religious leaders in the community; formal means consist of seeking counsel from professional psychiatrists.  They concluded,

In the United States Asian Americans have a sizeable burden of mental illness, with a 17.30% overall lifetime rate of any psychiatric disorder and a 9.19% 12-month rate over a 12-month period.  Only 3.1% of Asian Americans use specialty mental health services, compared with 5.59% of African Americans, 5.94% of Caribbean Blacks, 4.44% of Mexicans, 5.55% of Cubans, and 8.8% of the general population.  In a study by Abe-Kim et al., only 8.6% of Asian Americans sought any mental health services compared with 17.9% of the general population.

Since Asian Americans were more likely to use informal means of mental heath services, the discrimination and condescension toward mental health concerns proved to be a root cause in discouraging mental health.  Another factor was the lack of clear communication due to the language barrier for immigrants.  In another study conducted by the research team at the University of Maryland School of Public health, authors Meekyung Han and Helen Pong concluded,

Extra-familial intervention, such as seeking professional psychological help, is often considered shameful, a violation of the family hierarchy and harmony, and potentially disgraceful to the family. Our study suggests that, because Asian American community college students grow up in a culture in which family hierarchy, emotional restraint, avoidance of shame, and “saving face” are prevalent, these students’ foremost significant barrier to engaging professional help is the stigma of mental health issues, as learned and constructed within the family and cultural context (Han and Pong 10).

As parents do not encourage mental health as a significant priority, children continue to focus on accomplishing the task in front of them regardless of the strain it produces and accumulates over time.  If this occurs, the student creates a negative image of himself built on merit and achievement only.  Students will only continue to aim higher and higher without realizing or accepting the need to satisfy success will never truly be reached.  No matter how much the individual attempts to continue striving for higher scores or better performances, the ultimate reality remains: perfection is out of reach.  This mentality drives the unrealistic mantra, “I have to do better,” and it also leaves students susceptible to constantly comparing to others in academics and extracurricular activities.  At the end of the day, when a student collides into failure, not only does he feel defeated, but the impact of such defeat can become much more devastating on self-image.  The stress builds over frustration, helplessness, and lowered self-esteem.  Failure is inevitable, and if parents do not communicate that failure is only a part on the process, or even worse do not know how to communicate the fact at all, the consequence of a strain and lasting damage on the relationship between the child and their parents ensues.  The child perceives his efforts and work are not enough, which builds in her mind, replaying every mistake and regret on what should have been done. 

On the other hand, the alternative approach follows from feeling deep resentment toward parents for not allowing the child to pursue what he wants to; there is no room for compromise and are prohibited from what he enjoys either for no reason whatsoever or unjust, controlling reasons.  Conflicting ideals are a common issue: disagreement on career paths, college choices, etc., all factor into more tension between them.  Furthermore, on top of pressure from family, the perception society holds adds to the anxiety and indecision over what to follow.  The narrative society asserts emphasizes following what an individual desires in life; anyone holding him back is an obstacle to his happiness.  With both the expectation of parents and society’s idea for pursuing individual happiness competing for influence, the student becomes more and more agitated and conflicted over whom to follow.  Koko Nishi’s article, “Mental Health Among Asian Americans” summarizes the sources of stress commonly found in students:

Parental pressure to succeed in academics, discussing mental health concerns is considered taboo in many Asian cultures and as a result Asian Americans tend to dismiss, deny or neglect their symptoms, pressure to live up to the “model minority” stereotype (a view that inaccurately portrays Asian Americans as successfully integrating into mainstream culture and having overcome the challenges of racial bias), family obligations based on strong traditional and cultural values, and discrimination due to racial or cultural background, and difficulty in balancing two different cultures and developing a bicultural sense of self (Nishi).

With each of these perspectives, the self-image Asian Americans have assembled from society’s perception and familial cultural perception are detrimental to their self-worth and image; both aspects have the potential to change in a positive manner. 

The first counterargument I will refute is the psychological issues in Asian-American students are solely founded on the ignorance of stereotypes from Western culture and society.  This is incorrect because the assumption fails to understand from where the stereotypes and mentalities derive.  In order to understand these stereotypes, immigrant history is necessary to identify the origins behind them.  The stereotype that all Asians are Chinese, Japanese, or Korean is found offensive because it fails to recognize Indians and other Southeast Asians such as Vietnamese, Cambodian, etc.; yet the three ethnicities are only better known because they have had longer and larger presences in America (Bronstein and Chan 180). In the 1840s-1860s, the Chinese were the first nationality to immigrate; they worked as laborers and were placed in ghettos.  They were also the first to be barred from immigration as only men could arrive and were prohibited from marrying.  The Japanese experienced similar conditions in the 1880s, as did the Korean and Filipino groups that immigrated in 1903-1920.  In each situation, policies were enacted in response to the fear that a growing community was a threat to the workforce.  The height of anti-Asian sentiment occurred during the internment camps for Japanese Americans in WWII with over 110,000 sent away from their homes (181-182).  Furthermore, Chinese citizens were also placed in the camps due to the similarity of appearance.  When the immigration ban was lifted in 1965, an influx of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Indian, and Filipinos moved in hopes of better opportunities (182).  Thus, while not excusable, many of the Asian American stereotypes derive from historical background.  The failure to recognize or implement Asian American immigration into education results in ignorance.  The stereotypes are not a misunderstanding, but a direct cause of psychological issues in Asian-American students today.  They trace from immigrant history, dealing with the aftermath of abuse, racism, and oppression.   

In addition, media has a large role in creating the Asian image.  The constant exposure to media and characters created in movies and television shows have an impact on how Western society views Asian Americans.  Especially in Hollywood, the identity created by films and television shows have started with stereotypical roles: the IT guy, the math nerd, or Chinese man #2.  Examples include Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Dong in Sixteen Candles.  Whitewashing has raised controversy among the Asian community not only with Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but also currently with films like Ghost in the Shell, Aloha, Batman Begins, and Doctor Strange.  Whitewashing communicates that Asian leads are near impossible to have and find.  In the same way, Asians then are only cast as minor characters, oftentimes as stereotypical roles.  In an age permeated with technology and media, the idea presented here is discouraging to young Asian Americans who are only exposed to the stereotypes people who look like them play on television.  Controversy on cultural appropriation and need for better Asian-American media representation has been addressed, but not nearly enough as it should change what is seen on screen.  Until incorporated well enough into mainstream media, the ideal broadcasted by Hollywood remains a constricting view of how Asians are portrayed in society.  It affects not only how others see Asian Americans, but also how they see themselves.  Hence, this is a direct misrepresentation that negatively affects Asian Americans today, especially for the youth who have constant exposure to media.       

The next counterargument I will refute is the psychological issues of Asian-American students derive solely from the harsh standards in parenting and expectations.  This argument is incorrect because this statement fails to acknowledge the mentality behind Asian culture.  When examining Asian parenting based upon a Western mentality, the ready observation is Asian parenting is cruel and inappropriate.  Now imagine switching the mentalities on how Asian culture views Western culture on the topic of parenting.  If Asian households encourage their children to be respectful and caring towards their elders and family as priority, the logical reaction is to wonder why Western households are so reluctant to focus and devote their time around the children as priority instead of the parents.  As Amy Chua states in the article about her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, “The Western narrative wants to respect the child’s individuality, encourage to pursue their passions, support their choices, with only positive reinforcement, and nurturing environments, but by contrast Chinese parents believe in what their children are capable of to prepare for their future and arm them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence.”  Asian parents believe in following safe career paths and academics that will guarantee success and a stable future where one can provide for their grandchildren and entire family. 

The notion of sacrifice is incredibly significant to parents.  Immigration is an immediate example of this.  Parents recognize better opportunities for education and career and thus travel halfway across the world to unfamiliarity and discomfort, all for the sake of their children.  In turn follows the Immigrant Bargain, in which children recognize that struggle and hardship their parents underwent, driving them to perform well for their parents and that their effort to bring the family to the States was not in vain (Bronstein and Chan 185).  It is true there is a higher standard set for students but the parents want the best for their child, and when the child cannot accomplish the task in front of him, the parents push him because they believe he can do it.  Hard work and discipline build character.  Thus choosing the parents’ recommendation over passions is acceptable when it means a secure financial future and guarantees provision for future family and care for parents.  It does not mean all passions are rejected for the sake of blatant hatred for letting a child want to pursue something enjoyed.  The value of family is the priority and community rests on the unified family near each other. 

Once while eating dinner, my grandfather exclaimed I was holding my chopsticks too high.  He took the superstition quite seriously where the farther up I hold chopsticks, the farther away I will live from the family when I am married.  Immediately it felt constraining to not have the freedom to venture away, but in an instant I realized the sentiment that he only wanted me to remain closer to visit often and spend more time together.  Perhaps Asian parents are not verbally affectionate, but to say “I love you” was not through the outright “I love you,” but communicated through  “Are you eating enough?” “Are you doing well in school?” When you consider how the majority of society demonstrates affection, these questions seem overbearing and nagging, but in reality it truly indicates care for wellbeing.  It is without doubt their own parents did the same to show love.  This was best demonstrated in a short film titled “What Asian Parents Don’t Say,” a comedic take on communication and lack of openness between parents and children.  Two friends contrast how they relate to their parents; at first glance, the Asian friend feels as if his communication is askew or stunted, but realizes it is only said differently.  Thus, Asian parenting is misunderstood in communication and in comparison to Western parenting.  The intentions are built on heath, stability, and comfort for the future of their children as adults. 

After doing research and listening to several testimonies from Asian Americans and their struggle in identity, I have learned the occurrences and thoughts among these students are incredibly similar.  They are similar in academic pressure, self worth, and familial issues.  It was not until I finished research that I realized the conclusion would be largely based in change starting in attitudes and perceptions.  If there is no foundation in altering how people think, the changes in behavior or any other action will not hold in the long run. 

For those who have not grown up within an Asian community or have not had the chance to learn about East Asian culture, take a step back to look through the perspective of Asian parenting.  Truly look at the motives and values within an Asian-American family before discounting any method.  Blindly criticizing and judging without understanding the full story is not justified, not only in this situation but also in any circumstance.  By sympathizing with parents’ desire for the best for the children, common ground enables understanding into comparing and contrasting strengths and weaknesses of the ideal model for raising children.  As for how non-Asian peers or adults view Asian-American students, there must be awareness and ability to relate to children in how they are raised.  This allows for healthy growth and encouragement for Asian-American children from a young age.

For Asian parents, especially Asian immigrants, you should not disregard Western values out of ignorance.  To understand Western values of raising children you cannot dismiss and classify status through merit-based achievements.  Only focusing on accomplishments is detrimental to a child’s self worth; they live in a society where school preaches the ideology “pursue what one desires,” while parents insist on pursuing financial security in options regardless of personal desire.  It is honorable to believe in a work ethic and discipline to succeed, but the idea will lose meaning when the motivation behind becomes founded on the need to always perform better or attain higher academic scores.  The emphasis here also falls on encouraging mental health and understanding a child’s hope to please those wishes conflict and create anxiety and stress to maintain academic goals and excelling in other activities.  In a study conducted to promote mental health by Tsu-yin Wu and Joohyun Lee, the results found that open communication was a key to disclosure and growth in relationship between the parent and child (Wu and Lee 9).   

For Asian-American students, understanding where your parents are coming from is crucial.  The method by which they were raised is still present in their attempt to convert into parenting within their current environment.  The generation gap tends to break communication between parents and children, and the lack of acknowledgement of background and culture leads to a broken relationship.  It is incredibly easy to compare yourself to the people around you, and when no one is familiar with the culture in which you are brought up, the temptation overwhelms you into thinking there is something wrong because you are different.  When ignorance concerning your heritage follows, take the time to simply explain for future improvement rather than jumping to accuse another of being intentionally and maliciously racist.  Lastly, your self worth is not built on the grades you receive, the scores you attain, or the achievements you receive.

This thesis is very much a personal account and journey, but also much more as it is a continuous problem for first- and second-generation Asian Americans.  This struggle to find self-identity and worth is evident in my close friends, in the people I meet in church conferences, and also in the testimonies of strangers.  All relate specifically to the urgency felt and supposed need to fulfill an academic standard.  The immediate answer is to change how worth is measured alongside accomplishment.  The wrong response often turns to holding someone else responsible for the disappointment in how we view ourselves.  One side of the spectrum turns to hating peers and accuses them of ignorance and discrimination.  The opposite side turns to hating parents and culture in feeling insufficient from pressure or outraged at the expectations placed upon them.  I think we want our parents to be either heroes or villains.  As heroes they are the perfect family and as villains we are justified in fighting against them.  I think the hardest thing to realize is they are humans.  It is easy to blame, yet our challenge is to forgive.  The broken communication and estranged students from parents continue to run within Asian-American families today.  We have every power and voice to make the first step.  Forgiveness is not a blink of an eye but a long storm to move through; the relief and freedom from pain will heal the broken relationships within generations and culture.  This issue ends within our generation. 

Works Cited

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Spencer, M., Chen, J., Gee, G., Fabian, C., Takeuchi, D. (2010). “Discrimination and Mental Health-Related Service Use in a National Study of Asian Americans.” American Journal of Public Health, 100(12), 2410-2417.

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Wu, Tsu-Yin, and Joohyun Lee. “A PILOT PROGRAM TO PROMOTE MENTAL HEALTH AMONG ASIAN- AMERICAN IMMIGRANT CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS: A COMMUNITY-BASED PARTICIPATORY APPROACH.” International Journal of Child, Youth and Family Studies , vol. 6, no. 4, ser. 1, pp. 731–745. 1, journals.uvic.ca/index.php/ijcyfs/article/view/15055/5995.