Category Archives: Issue 10

Christmas III: A Patrick Swayze Christmas (12/8 Time, A-flat Major)

Christopher Rush

Ten issues.  Where did the time go?  Three Christmas specials, two music series, and a partridge in a pair of trees later, we are still going strong yet willing to go out on top.  There is no tradition like a new tradition, and we were proud and glad to be a new tradition of yours for these three years.  Now we will all get to start some new traditions next year without Redeeming Pandora in our lives.  I’m not sure what those will be right now, but when the time comes, I’m sure we’ll all think of something.

Did we watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians last year in Humanities? … Maybe.  Was I the only one still in my jim-jams Christmas morning last year? … Yes.  Did I feel bad about that? … No.

2012 has been another interesting year for us.  We got to visit Dubuque again, see the family and some old friends Neil, Dave, Weber, Nate, Jessica, and Jon.  That was comforting and enjoyable.  My niece was born, my son learned how to walk, my daughter is developing into a selfless young girl, and my wife is even closer to a Master’s degree.  Me?  Well … I finally played some wargames I’ve been carrying around for years.  Oh, and I read Othello for the first time, with the help of the Class of 2013, so that’s something.  I also finally read Giant-Size X-Men 1, if that means anything to you.  Summit saw the graduation of its largest senior class to date, all 27 of ’em … and I read every single senior thesis more than once.  That was about half of my year right there, but I was glad to do it.  More importantly, my wife and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past summer.  We went to The Melting Pot.  We went to the Outer Banks for our 5th anniversary.  At this rate, we’ll probably go to the living room for our 15th anniversary.  Let’s hope Domino’s will still have those yummy parmesan bread bites.

Last Christmas for us was probably the last of the great Christmases, at least in terms of all the family being together.  We might not have another Christmas like that for a while, but that’s okay … we had it last year.  This year promises to be good in its own way, and that’s what you have to do, really — take it one at a time.  I don’t want to sound selfish; obviously recent events have turned a lot of families’ Christmases upside down, and we know Christmas is often a rough time for many families for many reasons.  We are living in a fallen world, and Satan is regent over this world, even though Christ is risen and reigning.  We do hope you will still find some reason to be merry this Christmas.  The Light of the world is still shining.

One thing I don’t miss about Christmastime in the Midwest is driving in the snow.  Sure, we’ve had a few snow days here, and one or two of them have been legitimate, but snowfall here is nothing compared to Dubuque snowfall.  I’m all in favor of global warming, if it meant living in Dubuque without having to drive in the snow.  If global warming was a real thing that actually existed, of course.  I also don’t miss having to wetvac the basement all April long, which is another story for another time.  Of course, if we were in Dubuque, it might be possible we’d actually get to sing Christmas carols at church, so … we’ll see.

Christmas is starting to mean different things as I get older.  Obviously having children and no longer being part of the young generation are key factors in this metamorphosis.  Sleeping on December 24th is not the challenge it used to be, most likely because my bedtime is later than it was (though not as late as it was in college, for some reason — somehow, 9 o’clock went from “oh, it’s only 9? let’s start a movie” to “it’s already 9?”).  Now I’m part of the team getting the house ready for Christmas morning, moving presents and stockings and whatnot, instead of being the one imagining what the tree and couch will look like in the morning.  Exhaustion settles in much easier than it used to.  Though my lists are not any shorter than they used to be, there’s more difficulty in making them than there used to be.  That probably sounds more materialistic than I mean it to be, but it should indicate a waning sense of acquisitiveness as I get older.  Coupled with the fact our house is out of space, the desire for things just isn’t there like it used to be.

It’s interesting to look back at the old wish lists, see what moods and fancies I was in back in the day.  Not too surprisingly, my fancies go in phases (common among wargamers).  Some years I’m hankering for video games; some years, such as this year, I’m leaning more toward board and wargames.  We are still a few years away from playing a lot of family board games, but we believe in stocking up when the deals are right.  Coming from a family of gamers helps as well.  The majority of the list are the typical fare: music, MST3K box sets, graphic novels, the occasional book, a classic TV series perhaps.  Maybe a gift card or two.  Ideas, really — not things.  Experiences, ideas, opportunities for growth and improvement — these are the denizens of my wish lists.

Again, this is not to sound acquisitive.  The desire for intellectual and spiritual (and emotional) experiences are what I request for Christmas.  If that’s greedy, I suppose I’m greedy, then.  I don’t need any new things, of course, and I am the first to admit that.  I wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t get anything new this year.  I have plenty of unread books, unplayed games, unstudied albums, and unwatched series/movies to fill up a few lifetimes.  Toward that end, I have become more active in recent years about giving away things, especially books.  Part of the challenge of this, though, is deciding what to give to deserving others (especially alumni) and what to keep for my children.  Their interest isn’t high currently in books without pictures, but hopefully there’s time.  In the meantime, if you want anything, let me know.  I’ll see what I can do.  If you’d like to get together for some wargaming, we could definitely work on that as well.

Lord willing, my parents will be flying in for Christmas night this year, allowing most of us to gather again for Christmas dinner (though my brother will be missed).  One benefit of this is that we’ll be able to do Christmas morning two days in a row.  I, for one, plan on staying in my jim-jams for both mornings.  I will not feel bad about that.  Some traditions are worth holding on to.

It’s time to say “farewell” to our final Christmas issue of Redeeming Pandora.  Our first instinct might be to be sad to see such an entertaining and edifying part of our lives disappear, but that would be the wrong path to take.  As Theodor Giesel said, “Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened.”  Now go keep the old traditions worth keeping.  And start a few new ones, while you’re at it.

Oh, let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.

And this can be the haziest …

This can be the laziest …

This can be the Swayziest Christmas of them all!

A European Christmas

Elsa Lang Lively

Growing up in an American household, my views on Christmas and my memories associated with the holiday have stemmed from traditions such as hanging stockings, Christmas Eve services, opening presents, and family feasts.  Christmas is truly the happiest season of all, not just in America, but in many other countries as well.  Although European Christmas traditions can be quite similar to those of American ones, each country has its own traditions that make celebrating Christmas unique.  In order to find out more about how Christmas is celebrated in Europe, let’s examine the traditions of England, Norway, France, and Italy, shall we?

The first stop on our whirlwind European Christmas tour is jolly old England.  British Christmas traditions date back as far as the days of the British Druids, when they would keep holly, ivy, and mistletoe in their homes to bring peace.  The Christmas tree first became popularized in England when Prince Albert had one stand in the Royal Household in 1840.  Today, nearly every city and small town in England has its own Christmas tree standing in the city center to be admired by all its townspeople and visitors.  Since 1947, Norway has presented England with a large Christmas tree each year that stands in Trafalgar Square to commemorate Anglo-Norwegian cooperation in World War II.

The first British Christmas card was mailed in the 1840s, and the practice of wishing holiday tidings to loved ones quickly became a common practice.  Today, over a billion Christmas cards are sent across Great Britain, many of which are sent in order to aid charities.  For children, the best way to send a letter full of Christmas wishes to Father Christmas is by placing them in the back of the fireplace.  The draft then carries them up through the chimney and to the North Pole.

On Christmas Eve, many English enjoy caroling to their neighbors in groups, wishing them a happy Christmas.  Families hang their stockings over the fireplace in order to find goodies in them the next morning.  Children leave mince pies and wine out for Father Christmas, as well as a carrot for his reindeer.

On Christmas morning, presents are unwrapped and the Christmas Day feast is prepared.  A traditional British Christmas feast features a roast turkey, goose, or chicken with stuffing and roasted potatoes.  This is then followed with mince pies and Christmas pudding flaming with brandy.  “Figgy” pudding done right takes weeks to prepare, with occasional stirring by each family member (if you stir the pudding, you get to make a wish).  Some families also prepare a Christmas fruitcake made with marzipan, icing, and sugar frosting.  Many children enjoy breaking open their Christmas crackers during the feast, which are not, in fact, edible crackers at all, but brightly colored tubes that can contain riddles, toys, or other trinkets.

After the family feast, families all across England gather around the radio or television to hear the annual Queen’s Christmas Message.  Some families attend Christmas services at a local church.  The next day is known as Boxing Day, a holiday that first began in order to give deliverymen and other city employees who worked throughout the year a gift of money or food in a Christmas box.  These days, the holiday is more commonly celebrated by tipping milkmen, postmen, and other servicemen during the Christmas season.

Norwegians have their own unique Christmas traditions as well.  A Nordic Christmas is characterized by its celebration of light, as the winter months in Scandinavian countries are cold and dark, with the sun setting around three or four o’clock in the afternoon on a daily basis.  Holiday celebrations begin on December thirteenth with Santa Lucia day.  Santa Lucia, the “Queen of Lights,” was actually a Sicilian saint from the fourth century who helped persecuted Christians by guiding them through tunnels wearing a wreath with candles on her head.  She was eventually martyred for her faith and her aiding of the poor.  Historians are not exactly sure how Santa Lucia day came to be celebrated in Scandinavia, but some speculate the story of Santa Lucia was told to the Nordic peoples when missionaries from southern Europe spread the gospel to Scandinavians in order for the Scandinavians to have an idea of what true faith looked like.  Traditionally, Norwegian girls wear white robe-like dresses with a red sash and have a crown of either candles or electrical lights perched upon their heads as they deliver lussekattor, saffron buns, to those in their families and schools as well as to those in nursing homes and hospitals.

Norwegians also use mistletoe and Christmas trees like the British, a tradition that started with Norse pagans and remained alive even when Christianity spread across Scandinavia.  Christmas trees are kept simple, yet beautiful, decorated with only white lights and candles and a star on top of the tree.  During this time of year, Norwegians put candles on the graves of loved ones as well as a sign of remembrance and honor, where they are lit on Christmas Eve.

Each country has its own version of Santa Claus, and Norway is no exception.  The Norwegian version is called the Julenisse, which literally translates to “Christmas goblin or gnome.”  Although the Julenisse originally was a mischievous Christmas elf or forest gnome who watched over the farm and the animals, he has become more similar to the American Santa Claus over the years.  These days, he now possesses the ability to ride in a sleigh transported by reindeer and ask children if they’ve been good over the course of that year.  Children faithfully set out Christmas porridge on their doorsteps on Christmas Eve for the Julenisse.

On Christmas Eve, Norwegians attend a five o’clock Christmas service at church before starting a traditional Christmas feast with their families.  The feast usually consists of a roast goose or duck, pickled herring salad, and a plethora of desserts, including a julekake, a fruitcake, and a kransekaka, a marzipan tower.  The feast is then followed by the joining of hands to form a circle around the tree, where the entire family sings carols and walks around the tree while keeping formation.  Then, a knock at the door signifies the arrival of presents from the Julenisse, and gifts are opened while coffee and cakes are enjoyed.  After all the singing and unwrapping is finished, family members wish each other “God Jul!” before heading to bed.

Heading on down to France, Christmas begins with the shopping for items for the Christmas feast in the marchés de Noël.  These Christmas markets have beautifully displayed decorations for French homes as well as abundant amounts of fresh produce and seafood from various regions of France.  Because the French culture is largely centered around cuisine, the preparations for the révillion de Noël, the large Christmas feast, are essential to the French.  Depending on the region of France, this meal could include roast goose, turkey, foie gras, or oysters served with a vast array of local cheeses and good wine.  For dessert, the traditional Yule log cake, called la bûche de Noël, is served along with other treats.

Before the révillion de Noël, however, families attend midnight mass at a local church or cathedral.  No matter the size of the church, light shines throughout the building from multiple candles, representing the birth of the Light of the World.  Carols and hymns are sung, and the echoes of bells and organs can be heard throughout the city or village.  Usually young children do not attend the midnight mass but instead go to bed early after placing their shoes by the fireplace to receive candy and gifts from Père Noël the following morning.  Interestingly enough, a law was passed in 1962 stating all letters sent to Père Noël would be replied to with a postcard.  So when children send their Christmas lists to Père Noël from school, they know they will receive a response shortly.

Christmas trees, or sapins de Noël, are traditionally decorated with candy, fruit, nuts, and small toys either several days before Christmas or the night before.  Although Christianity is not as prevalent in France these days, many families still place une crèche, a manger, inside or outside of their homes to commemorate the birth of Jesus.  To many, this is their way of wishing “Joyeux Noël!” to all those passing by.

In France, holiday festivities do not end after Christmas Day or even New Year’s Day, but instead last up until the sixth of January, the day of Epiphany.  This holiday celebrates the visits of the Magi to the baby Jesus, when they presented him with their gifts.  On Epiphany, families celebrate by eating une galette des rois, a wafer king cake.  Inside the cake is une fêve, typically a small porcelain figure or a bean, which ends up in one person’s slice.  The one who finds la fêve in his or her piece of cake is declared king for a day and can choose his or her companion.

Venturing even more south, an Italian Christmas is celebrated starting in early December with La Festa di San Nicola, L’Immacolata Concezione, and La Festa di Santa Lucia.  Unlike the children of other European countries, Italian children are known to write letters of love and gratitude to their parents instead of to a Father Christmas or Santa Claus.  These letters are placed under their fathers’ plates and are read following the Christmas Eve meal.

Although some Italian families, primarily those living in the northern parts of Italy, put evergreen trees in their homes, many families’ primary decoration is a ceppo, a wooden frame shaped as a pyramid that holds a manger scene at the bottom and fruit, candy, and small gifts on the other higher shelves.  This pyramid is called a “Tree of Light” and is decorated on the sides with shiny paper and candles and topped with a star or small doll.

Italian Christmas Eve feasts differ depending on the region, although many families enjoy dishes of eels and other seafood along with a Milanese cake called panettone.  On Christmas Day, the pope gives his blessing to crowds gathering in Saint Peter’s Square.  Children enjoy going around neighborhoods singing traditional Christmas carols and wishing “Buon Natale!” to the elderly.

Interestingly enough, Italian children anxiously await an annual visit from la Befana, a kindly old witch who brings gifts to children on January sixth, the day of Epiphany.  Santa Claus does not seem to be as important in Italy.  According to legend, la Befana was asked for directions by both the Magi and the shepherds when they were on their way to visit the baby Jesus.  When they asked her to accompany them and see the baby for herself, she refused.  Later that night, she saw a great light in the heavens and wished she could have gone with them to visit Jesus.  She collected all the toys that belonged to her child who had died and tried to find Jesus in the stable.  Unfortunately, she was unable to locate the stable and was left wandering.  Each year, she brings toys to good Italian children and coal to the bad ones while roving the streets attempting to find baby Jesus.

These European Christmas traditions have truly stood the test of time, remaining a part of each country’s culture over hundreds of years.  As both Europeans and Americans alike have moved away from Christianity over the years as a whole, Christmas is a time of year that unites many people groups under the celebration of the birth of the true High King.  So wherever you are in the world, remember that Jesus is the reason for the season.  Merry Christmas!

Sources

http://french.about.com/cs/culture/a/christmas.htm

http://italian.about.com/library/weekly/aa120600f.htm

http://mylittlenorway.com/2009/12/julenisse-decorative-christmas-elves/

http://travel.usatoday.com/experts/story/2011-12-10/Rick-Steves-Christmas-in-Europe-lasts-more-than-a-day/51768578/1

http://www.ambafrance-us.org/spip.php?article557

http://www.californiamall.com/holidaytraditions/traditions-england.htm

http://www.santas.net/italianchristmas.htm

The Culinary Ride of Your Life

Audrey Livingstone

As the most wonderful time of the year comes upon us once again, I can’t help but be reminded of all of the wonderful memories I have of past Christmas holidays.  And most of those memories involve food.  I will be the first to say the most important thing to focus on during this wonderful holiday season is the birth of our Savior, but I would like to remind you Jesus Himself commands His people to feast!  Take, for instances, the feast of Tabernacles, ancient Jewish weddings (which included at least three days of eating, drinking, and dancing), Passover, and the coming Wedding Supper of the Lamb.  So many important events include feasts — why should Christmas be any different?

Now that I have established the importance of feasting, I would like to share some of my very favorite Christmas foods with you all.  Consider yourselves extremely privileged, because some of these recipes have never been seen by eyes not belonging to a Livingstone.  These dishes date back … well … quite a while.  As long as I can remember, my parents would cruelly deny me of food after a very small breakfast on Christmas Day.  In my wise old(er) age, I now understand why they did this.  At the time, however, I merely became cranky and would disappear to my room with my sister and fawn over our new presents until I was called back downstairs when dinner was ready.

Let me establish that large holiday meals are not only a time to enjoy amazing food but also the company of one’s family.  I am perhaps exaggerating the importance of Christmas food in my eyes for the purpose of this article (though not very much).  You may consider me a glutton right now, but I guarantee you after you finish this article and perhaps prepare some of these life-changing dishes, you will be thanking me profusely.  As such, I would like to say “you are welcome” in advance.  But enough dilly dallying — let’s get to the good stuff.

I suggest beginning this feast with a nice glass of sparkling grape juice, since no student reading this is old enough to drink alcohol.  But you can put it in a nice wine glass (that’s what I always do).  Next, have a piece of bread (or two).  I personally love Sister Schubert’s Yeast Rolls, but a nice French loaf is swell as well.  After this, you are adequately prepared for the real food.  Beef brisket braised in red wine, Palace Potatoes, macaroni and cheese (of the best variety), cornbread stuffing, and Granny Kathleen’s chocolate pie follows.

Beef brisket braised in red wine is the only way to eat beef brisket, in my humble opinion.  The Burgundy and Worcestershire sauces and tomato paste come together to form a sultry, rich, unique flavor that complements the tender brisket perfectly.  The smooth, creamy sauce and the textured meat taste absolutely magnificent together.  And, this sauce from the gods also goes perfectly with mashed potatoes if you have any of it left over.

Moving from the succulent brisket, we come to the Lady’s Cheesy Mac. This, my friend, is no ordinary macaroni and cheese.  It is mac and cheese on steroids.  Unlike most macaroni cooked on the stove, this is baked in the oven, which browns the cheese on top. This provides a delightful diversity of textures.  The crunchy top layer and the soft, melted inside are perfectly suited.  The cheddar cheese and the sour cream serve to make this classic dish especially creamy and smooth.

After this culinary delight, we come to Palace Potatoes.  This is quite possibly the best dish of them all.  Don’t be frightened by the ingredients.  Just because you can practically feel your arteries clogging as you savor its richness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat it.  I would advise you to view consumption of Palace Potatoes as an experience.  This may sound silly.  It isn’t.  This is serious stuff, Summiteers.  As you eat Palace Potatoes, you are transported to a rich and buttery paradise.  You may, in fact, find it difficult to stop eating them.  I know I do.  (Who says all good things have to come in moderation?  Not me.)  But stop you must in order to save room for cornbread stuffing and Granny Kathleen’s chocolate pie.

Cornbread stuffing may sound like an interesting choice for a Christmas Day feast.  I have never questioned it, because it is part of the Livingstone tradition.  I would ask you to do the same.  Cornbread stuffing has never been my favorite meal.  It’s a bit of an underdog compared to these other dishes.  However, I pay it its due respect because in the Livingstone home, stuffing is somewhat of a long-serving dish.  I can’t remember a holiday without it.  It’s fluffy and soft, which is nice.  And who doesn’t love cornbread?  But really, I view this as more of a speed bump.  It slows you down before the grand finale.  The grand finale, of course, being Granny Kathleen’s chocolate pie.

This, my friends, is one of the most prized Livingstone recipes ever to have existed.  And if my Granny Kathleen were still alive, she would probably hunt me down for publishing it.  However, I feel the need to share this with you.  This chocolate pie is no ordinary chocolate pie.  It is the champion, the MVP of them all, if you will.  This is why the recipe I include below calls for enough ingredients for two pies.  You simply will not be able to stop after one slice, and neither will your family and friends.  So, sit back, take a bite, and let your taste buds transport you to chocolaty bliss.  After all of these dishes, and only after all of them, are you permitted to terminate this feast of all feasts.  You may encounter obstacles; you may doubt your ability to persevere; you may feel as if you cannot make it through one more dish.  But you can, my friend, you can persevere.  And persevere you must.

Brisket of Beef Braised in Red Wine

Yield: 16 servings

Ingredients

  • (1) 4-5 lb. lean beef brisket
  • Seasoned salt
  • 4-5 medium onions, chopped
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
  • 1 bottle (750ml) red Burgundy wine
  • 1 cup water
  • 3-4 Tbsp. tomato paste
  • 1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Directions

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.  Sprinkle the brisket generously with seasoned salt, and place it fat side up in a heavy roasting pan or kettle that can go into the oven.  Roast uncovered for 25 to 35 minutes or until browned.  Sprinkle the onions evenly over the top of the meat.  Stir together the garlic, Burgundy, water, tomato paste, and Worcestershire sauce.  Pour the liquid around the meat and cover the pan.  Lower the oven temperature to 325 degrees F. and continue cooking for 4 hours or longer until very tender.

Lift the meat from the liquid, and allow it to rest for 20 minutes before slicing.  Meanwhile, use a slotted spoon to transfer the onions to a blender or food mill, reserving all the pan juices.  Process to a smooth sauce, and add just enough of the reserved liquid to thin to the desired consistency.

To serve, carve the meat across the grain.  Arrange the slices on a warm platter, and spoon sauce over them to coat evenly.  Serve extra sauce on the side.

This recipe may be cooked several days in advance.  Cool the meat to room temperature, wrap, and refrigerate.  It may be sliced when cold, arranged in serving dish, and covered with sauce.  Reheat at 325 degrees F. for about 45 minutes or until hot.

Palace Potatoes

Yield: 8-10 servings

Ingredients

  • 8-10 large potatoes
  • 4-8 tablespoons of butter cut into pieces (DO NOT SUBSTITUE WITH MARGARINE)
  • Seasoned salt to taste
  • 2 cups of heavy cream

Directions

Boil the potatoes in water for 20 minutes or until almost done.  Drain, cool, then peel and cut them into ⅛th inch slices.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  In a 13x9x2-inch baking dish, layer one-third of the potato slices, one-third of the butter, and a sprinkling of seasoned salt.  Repeat this two times.  Pour the heavy cream over top and bake for one hour or until the potatoes are tender and the top is golden brown.  Let your taste buds transport you to paradise.

The Lady’s Cheesy Mac

Yield: 6 to 8 servings

Total Time: 1 hour, 5 min

Prep: 10 min

Cook: 55 min

Ingredients

  • 4 cups cooked elbow macaroni, drained
  • 2 cups grated cheddar cheese
  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • ½ cup sour cream
  • 4 Tbsp. butter, cut into pieces
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup milk

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Once you have the macaroni cooked and drained, place in a large bowl and while still hot add the cheddar.  In a separate bowl, combine the remaining ingredients and add to the macaroni mixture.  Pour macaroni mixture into a casserole dish and bake for 30 to 45 minutes.  Top with additional cheese if desired.

Cornbread Stuffing

Ingredients

  • 1 stick of butter, melted
  • 1 cup dried onion
  • 1½ cup diced celery
  • 2 teaspoons of salt
  • 1½ teaspoons sage
  • 1 teaspoon of thyme
  • 1½ teaspoons of pepper

Cornbread mix

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  After cornbread mix has been mixed, sauté the butter, dried onion, diced celery, salt, sage, thyme, and pepper.  Add to the cornbread mix.  Bake for one hour and serve warm.

Granny Kathleen’s Homemade Chocolate Pie

Yield: 2 pies

Ingredients

  • 2 deep dish pie crusts, baked and cooled
  • 2 cups of sugar
  • 2 12-oz. cans of evaporated milk
  • 6 Tbsp. of cocoa
  • 6 tablespoons of all-purpose flour
  • 5 eggs
  • A dash of salt
  • 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
  • ½ stick of butter

Directions

Sift cocoa, all-purpose flour, and salt.  Put in a large pot.  Add milk, eggs, butter, and vanilla to the dry ingredients.  Stir until the mixture is thick (this may take a little while).  Pour the chocolate mixture evenly into the two pie crusts.  Refrigerate.  Top with whipped cream and shaved chocolate.  Serve cold.

Homemade Whipped Cream

Yield: 2 pies worth

Ingredients

  • 1 pint of heavy whipping cream
  • 5 tablespoons of powdered sugar

Directions

Place bowl and beaters into the refrigerator or freezer until they are very cold.  Put one pint of heavy whipping cream into the bowl, and add the powdered sugar.  Start the beaters on a low setting, and begin to beat the mixture.  Every few minutes, move the beater up to a higher setting.  Do this until the beaters are on their highest setting and the mixture is completely whipped.  Distribute evenly over the pies.

Christmas in America: Roots and Traditions

Kaitlyn Thornton Abbott

In today’s society, we are surrounded by holiday cheer.  ABC Family hosts their “25 Days of Christmas” special, Christmas trees and lights go up, and once the peppermint mocha hits Starbucks, you know it’s Christmas time.  The holiday season, in my opinion, is the best time of year.  People seem to generally be in a more giving mood — after they move past Black Friday, that is.  But everyone seems to have a different idea of what exactly Christmas is or what it entails.  Every family has a different variation of traditions.  For example, in my family, we always go to the Christmas Eve service at my church and afterwards celebrate with my mother’s side of the family.  Christmas Day, we have our own little Christmas, and then go to dinner and celebrate with my dad’s side of the family.  But for us, as a nation, our traditions usually go hand-in-hand with our religion.  As previously stated, my family and I go to the Christmas Eve service our church offers.  But what are the origins of the holiday we’ve come to know as Christmas?

All around the world, Christians are celebrating the holiday surrounding Jesus’s birth.  Christianity celebrates Christmas on the foundation Christ was born of the virgin Mary.  Mary was living in Nazareth of Galilee and was engaged to be married to Joseph, a Jewish carpenter.  An angel visited her and explained to her she would conceive a son by the power of the Holy Spirit.  She would carry and give birth to this child, and she would name him Jesus.  At first Mary was afraid and troubled by the angel’s words.  Being a virgin, Mary questioned the angel, “How will this be?”  The angel explained the child would be God’s own Son and, therefore, “nothing is impossible with God.”  Humbled and in awe, Mary believed the angel of the Lord and rejoiced in God her Savior.  While Mary was still engaged to Joseph, she miraculously became pregnant through the Holy Spirit, as foretold to her by the angel.  When Mary told Joseph she was pregnant, he had every right to feel disgraced.  He knew the child was not his own, and Mary’s apparent unfaithfulness carried a grave social stigma.  Joseph not only had the right to divorce Mary; under Jewish law she could be put to death by stoning.  Although Joseph’s initial reaction was to break the engagement, the appropriate thing for a righteous man to do, he treated Mary with extreme kindness.  He did not want to cause her further shame, so he decided to act quietly.  But God sent an angel to Joseph in a dream to verify Mary’s story and reassure him his marriage to her was God’s will.  The angel explained the child within Mary was conceived by the Holy Spirit, His name would be Jesus, and He was the Messiah, God with us.  When Joseph woke from his dream, he willingly obeyed God and took Mary home to be his wife, in spite of the public humiliation he would face.  Perhaps this noble quality is one of the reasons God chose him to be the Messiah’s earthly father.  Joseph too must have wondered in awe as he remembered the words found in Isaiah 7:14, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel” (NIV).  At that time, Caesar Augustus decreed a census be taken, and every person in the entire Roman world had to go to his own town to register.  Joseph, being of the line of David, was required to go to Bethlehem to register with Mary.  While in Bethlehem, Mary gave birth to Jesus.  Probably due to the census, the inn was too crowded, and Mary gave birth in a crude stable.  She wrapped the baby in cloths and placed him in a manger.

Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday celebrated for eight days and nights.  It starts on the 25th of the Jewish month of Kislev, which coincides with late November-early December on the Gregorian calendar.

In Hebrew, the word “Hanukkah” means “dedication.”  The name reminds us this holiday commemorates the re-dedication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem following the Jewish victory over the Syrian-Greeks in 165 B.C.  In 168 B.C. the Jewish Temple was seized by Syrian-Greek soldiers and dedicated to the worship of the god Zeus.  This upset the Jewish people, but many were afraid to fight back for fear of reprisals.  Then in 167 B.C. the Syrian-Greek emperor Antiochus made the observance of Judaism an offense punishable by death.  He also ordered all Jews to worship Greek gods.

Jewish resistance began in the village of Modi’in, near Jerusalem.  Greek soldiers forcibly gathered the Jewish villages and told them to bow down to an idol and then ate the flesh of a pig — both practices forbidden to Jews.  A Greek officer ordered Mattathias, a High Priest, to obey their demands, but Mattathias refused.  When another villager stepped forward and offered to cooperate on Mattathias’ behalf, the High Priest became outraged.  He drew his sword and killed the villager, then turned on the Greek officer and killed him, too.  His five sons and the other villagers then attacked the remaining soldiers, killing all of them.  Mattathias and his family went into hiding in the mountains, where other Jews wishing to fight against the Greeks joined them.  Eventually they succeeded in retaking their land from the Greeks.  These rebels became known as the Maccabees, or Hasmoneans.

Once the Maccabees had regained control, they returned to the Temple in Jerusalem.  By this time it had been spiritually defiled by being used for the worship of foreign gods and also by practices such as sacrificing swine.  Jewish troops were determined to purify the Temple by burning ritual oil in the Temple’s menorah for eight days.  But to their dismay, they discovered there was only one day’s worth of oil left in the Temple.  They lit the menorah anyway and to their surprise the small amount of oil lasted the full eight days.  This is the miracle of the Hanukkah oil celebrated every year when Jews light a special menorah known as a Hanukkiyah for eight days.  One candle is lit on the first night of Hanukkah, two on the second, and so on, until eight candles are lit.

Kwanzaa, a less celebrated holiday but nonetheless renown, is another major holiday celebrated around Christmas time.  The name “Kwanzaa” is derived from the phrase matunda ya kwanza, which means “first fruits” in Swahili.  Each family celebrates Kwanzaa in its own way, but celebrations often include songs and dances, African drums, storytelling, poetry reading, and a large traditional meal.  On each of the seven nights, the family gathers and a child lights one of the candles on the Kinara (candleholder), then one of the seven principles is discussed.  The principles, called the Nguzo Saba (“seven principles” in Swahili), are values of African culture that contribute to building and reinforcing community among African-Americans created by Dr. Maulana Karenga.  Kwanzaa also has seven basic symbols that represent values and concepts reflective of African culture.  An African feast, called a Karamu, is held on December 31.

The candle-lighting ceremony each evening provides the opportunity to gather and discuss the meaning of Kwanzaa.  The first night, the black candle in the center is lit, and the principle of umoja/unity is discussed.  Day 1: Unity/Umoja: to strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.  Day 2: Self-determination/Kujichagulia: to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.  Day 3: Collective Work and Responsibility/Ujima: to build and maintain our community together and make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems and to solve them together.  Day 4: Cooperative Economics/Ujamaa: to build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.  Day 5: Purpose/Nia: to make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.  Day 6: Creativity/Kuumba: to do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.  Day 7: Faith/Imani: to believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

Many other traditions unique to a certain area in the world exist, but these three are the biggest players.  Other traditions we see in America find their roots throughout other cultures, though.  For example, Ireland, like most countries, has a number of Christmas traditions all its own.  Many of these customs have their root in the time when the Gaelic culture and religion of the country were being suppressed, and it is perhaps because of that they have survived into modern times.  The candle in the window is a prime example of this: the placing of a lighted candle in the window of a house on Christmas Eve is still practiced today.  It has a number of purposes, but primarily it was a symbol of welcome to Mary and Joseph as they travelled looking for shelter.  The candle also indicated a safe place for priests to perform mass; during Penal Times this was not allowed.  A further element of the tradition is the candle should be lit by the youngest member of the household and only be extinguished by a girl bearing the name “Mary.”

Christmas is a glorious holiday celebrated all around the world, although not necessarily under that name.  Christmas itself is not as much a holiday as it is a state of heart and mind.

Where Are They Now?

Christopher Rush

As part of our year-long wrap-up party, and in honor of our 10th issue, we thought you might be interested in getting a brief update on some of the students who helped make Redeeming Pandora over the years.  This issue we hear from first season’s Emily Grant and second season’s Lia Waugh.

Emily Grant

I am currently a student at Christopher Newport University.  A Chemistry major and a Leadership minor, I spend my time roaming the halls of the science building, procrastinating on writing my lab reports, and avoiding working on papers about the multiple theories of Leadership.  A sophomore, I currently live with former Summit students Julie McIlhaney and Emma McNally.

Lia Waugh

I’m working fulltime at Tidewater Orthopedic Associates Physical Therapy clinic.  I take the patients through their exercises, do different treatments on them (Cold Laser Therapy, Ultrasound), and love every part of it.  My coworkers and boss are great people, and everyone gets along very well and has fun working together.  I can’t think of a more rewarding job than having a patient come in having not been able to walk and being able to watch them progress and walk (and more).  I love that I’m able to directly impact people’s lives, even if it’s just with a smile and making them feel better.  My dream is to end up in the missions field, whether it is medical missions or not.  I just want that incredibly badly.  I do night classes at Thomas Nelson and have not been mugged or shot yet.  It’s not as bad as people think; the work is actually really hard.  But I love my classes; the more I study Biology, the more my love for God deepens.  So that’s where I am!  Eagerly waiting to see where else God leads me.  Even though I’m only a couple of months into college, I’m in awe of seeing how God has used some of my darkest hours to make me into the person He wants me to be.  He truly does make beautiful things out of the dust.

Piracy!

Jared Emry

Online piracy has been a subject of heated debate throughout the world for the past several years.  Governments around the world have attempted to legislate against online piracy with little success.  The most famous legislation in the United States was the Stop Online Piracy Act, or SOPA, but it failed after a widespread protest from many major corporations.  Wikipedia even went so far as to temporarily blackout the English version of their site in protest to the legislation.  The legislation is meant to be greater enforcement of the copyright law.  The government views copyright infringement as a serious crime punishable to twenty years in prison, but millions of people worldwide continue to pirate.  Even with the mass proliferation of copyrighted material, serious critiques of the law as a whole are scarce.  It is time for a critique of the copyright law.

Copyright was first instituted in 1710 in Britain in order to protect authors from having the content in their books stolen without being paid royalties, and it has since come to cover almost any form of expression or media.  Copyright law makes the most sense for reference books, like dictionaries or concordances.  The reason is these reference books often could not be produced if they would later be able to be reproduced freely.  However, copyright only makes sense for reference books, and these reference books are the only significant justification for the law.  Copyright law didn’t enter the United States of America until 1890s.  The idea of copyright is a relatively recent phenomenon.  The right over how one’s work is copied is a recently invented right and is not directly protected under the Constitution.

Sometimes it is assumed copyright is a moral issue and breaking the law is piracy, plagiarism, or theft; however, this is not the case.  When the copyright law is broken, it is not broken for a profit.  A modern definition of piracy is to infringe on copyright law, but the word piracy has a connotation of stealing and reselling something for a profit.  Online piracy does not have the same connotation, because it rarely involves reselling or profit making.  While it may still be considered piracy, it is not the same, and it seems it is only wrong if copyright is moral.  The distributers of the pirated material aren’t pirating for money, just reputation.  When people say online piracy is wrong, they meant to say it is theft.  Online piracy isn’t theft.  It isn’t theft, because it isn’t taking money from the copyright owner’s pockets.  Hypothetically, if I pirate something online, it probably means I would go without it if I couldn’t pirate it.  If someone does not want to spend money on something, they probably won’t.  Whether or not it is available for piracy they wouldn’t be getting their money, because the pirate wouldn’t see it as worth the money.  Online piracy is also used by potential buyers to see whether or not they like what it is they might buy.  Many potential buyers will illegally try the product to test its worth.  In this case, online piracy merely acts like quality check.  If the product is worth the price, it is bought.  Scenarios like this also have a secondary effect on the wallet of the person who created the pirated item, or the originator.  Many pirates are also potential buyers who wouldn’t buy the program if they couldn’t test it out.  This concept can best be seen in the recent shutdown of one of the Internet’s most popular sites, Megaupload.  After Megaupload was shutdown by the government, box office revenues declined.  In the end, piracy generated more income for the originators.  Theft normally doesn’t give profit to the victim, which by itself implies online piracy isn’t theft!  The copyright law is shown here to be harmful to the originators.  Also, online piracy isn’t plagiarism, because it rarely involves claiming that someone else’s work is one’s own.  Online plagiarism is a completely different topic, but many people mix it in when arguing for copyright laws.

Copyright law harms both parties most of the time and is often the essence of the law being divided against itself.  Firstly, it allows for unnaturally high prices of goods which in turn cause fewer consumers.  Fewer consumers mean the person’s ideas do not travel around as far or as fast.  An artificial bubble occurs that allows second-hand dealers in ideas to exist and prosper.  Economically speaking, a forced scarcity is imposed by the copyright law.  F. A. Hayek stated, “I doubt whether there exists a single great work of literature which we would not possess had the author been unable to obtain an exclusive copyright for it.”  Quite simply, the copyright law does not provide any incentive for original work.  There often arises cases in which the original writer too often be forgotten as a footnote, especially in nonfiction.  The forced scarcity has never been shown by any study to benefit society as a whole.

There is a simple illustration between forced scarcity and real scarcity.  Imagine a typical candy store.  It has a certain and definite amount of candy in it, and once the candy is eaten, it cannot be replaced until the next shipment.  In this candy store, if one was to take a piece of candy without paying, it would be theft.  In this candy store there is real scarcity, so it costs the owner of the store to replace it, and it deprives him of what he deserves for the candy.  Now imagine another candy store almost identical to the previous one; however, now all the consumers have the ability to infinitely duplicate each piece of candy after purchase and do what they want with those duplicates.  In this second store, the only scarcity is in the human imagination.  Several customers would buy some candy, copy it, and hand out duplicates in a variety of ways.  Unfortunately, a third party called a government steps in and legislates duplication is illegal without a license from the shop owner.  The owner sees less people copying and  more of those previous copiers buying and assumes his business is doing better in this false scarcity.  However, his candy is reaching a smaller crowd of people, and thus he is actually having less customers than what he could have, and he receives less of a profit from them.  This illustration may have a few shortcomings, but it does provide an adequate view of the economics behind the false scarcity.  The false scarcity not only causes the shopkeeper to lose profit, it causes the entire society to be impoverished.  Copyright law is not about candy, though; it is about ideas.  Copyright law keeps society intellectually impoverished.  Also, wouldn’t the originator who really cares about the ideas he or she is proposing in their work want their ideas proliferated?  Even if they make less virtual money through proliferation, their ideas would reach more people.  It is only virtual money, because it is merely a theoretical sum based off flawed assumptions.

There are also great flaws in the copyright law.  In America, the copyrights prior to 1972 on music won’t expire until 2065, long after the creators and their children are dead.  That means it will take 177 years for the earliest American copyrights to expire.  Not only will the copyrights keep the music out of the public domain, it causes a greater chance much of the music will be forgotten and possibly even lost.  The 1972 copyrights were only given 95-year copyrights.  Copyright law prohibits all audio preservation as illegal.  Preservation only happens because the law is not strictly enforced and people are breaking the law.  Also, the audio preservation laws apply to more than just music, such as speeches and everything else audio-recorded.  This potentially means one might not be able to listen to a J. F. Kennedy or Martin Luther King Jr. speech, because one would need a license to listen.  In essence, the copyright law has the ability to censor almost all forms of expression.  The only thing copyright needs to control speech and thought is stricter enforcement.  The copyright pirates deserve quite a bit of thanks for helping to preserve media (whether or not it is their intention).  The piracy often allows originator’s legacies to be formed by the proliferation of their ideas and preservation of those ideas.  Which is better for the artist?  To have a little extra temporary pocket money that in itself is just virtual numbers based off flawed assumptions?  Or to have a greater chance of impacting more people, having their product last longer and be remembered longer, and possibly create a bigger legacy for themselves?

The infringement of copyright law is probably the hardest so-called “crime” governments face in the realm of enforcement.  Online piracy is by nature nearly impossible to eradicate.  The current idea behind stopping online piracy is by having the Internet service providers, like Cox or Verizon, to block pirate sites with their proxies.  SOPA was meant to legislate this concept and was rejected by major corporations because of how a strictly-enforced copyright law could be used.  Facebook, Wikipedia, Twitter, and many other companies rejected the legislation because it would allow all their sites to be potentially blocked if any of their users posted copyrighted material without a license.  The corporations lobbied Congress to keep it from passing.  However, if new legislation exempts their companies, they will gladly accept, because it would bring them all closer to monopoly.  New legislation is reappearing even though the majority of Americans disapprove of this entire genre of legislation.  The U. N. even has a resolution meant to do the exact same thing as SOPA, PIPA, ACTA, and other legislation.  Even though many governments attempt to pass this legislation, the efficacy of such legislation has never been proven.  The United Kingdom passed legislation that forced ISPs to block the notorious Pirate Bay.  However, the day after the ISPs blocked the site, Pirate Bay had a massive increase of traffic from the United Kingdom.  Approximately two million more UK users accessed the Pirate Bay by bypassing the proxies; the problem still has not been resolved.  Also, whenever a piracy site is taken down by a government, a backlash occurs.  These backlashes are typically denial of service attacks on government websites.  After Megaupload was shutdown, Anonymous launched massive attacks against many government sites and all major media corporations who badmouthed Megaupload.  Also, in response to their own shutdown, Megaupload ironically hired actors from Universal Studios to create a video defending them.  The cost of these backlashes and lawsuits must be large, which shows yet another flaw in the copyright law.  The copyright law is almost exclusively enforced for the people with the money, and the average Joe can’t afford to protect against lawsuits from large corporations.

The copyright law is inherently flawed, and enforcement always has lead to more trouble.  It also is unpopular and causes many economic problems in any developing society.  It continues to impoverish all people and reduce profits.  Regardless, copyright law is a dangerous weapon that opens up many excuses for frivolous lawsuits.

Sources

Hayek, F. A. Individualism and Economic Order. Chicago, 1948, pp. 113-14.

Hayek, F. A. Fatal Conceit, 1988, p. 35.

Peukert, Christian and Jörg Claussen. Piracy and Movie Revenues: Evidence from Megaupload. 22 Oct. 2012.  Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=2176246 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.2176246

Man’s Need for a Savior as Reflected in Movies

Nicole Moore Sanborn

Over the past few months my mom and I have indulged in watching a set of superhero movies.  As I watched, I could not help but notice a key thematic element.  The theme of man’s overwhelming need for a savior seemed to be a reoccurring aspect of the movies we watched.  This theme presents itself primarily in princess and superhero movies, where someone or something tends to need saving.  With the exception of very few, each movie in these archetypes clearly presents man’s helplessness and despair without a savior.  The archetype also appears in other movies to be discussed in this article.

Every girl loves a good princess movie, right?  Wrong.  Many girls do not like the fact in nearly every princess movie, the girl requires the aid of a prince to either break a spell or save them from whatever predicament they are in.  Many girls do not like this theme and archetype, because it subordinates the girl to require a man’s assistance.  Either way, the realization of man’s need for a savior has sprinkled itself into these princess movies.  I am basing this article off of the Disney princess movies, not on the original fairy tales.

In Cinderella, Cinderella is trapped living under the dictatorship of her stepmother and two step-sisters.  If the Fairy Godmother had not arranged a feasible way for her to attend the royal ball, Cinderella’s life would have remained static.  Had Cinderella not gone to the ball, left her shoe, and proved to the prince they danced at the ball, she would not have gotten married.  Cinderella needed saving from her condition.  The Fairy Godmother, and later the prince, stepped in and saved her.  The Fairy Godmother saved her night (through creating the means for Cinderella to attend the ball), and the prince fell in love with her, ultimately saving her and removing her from her predicament into a life of royalty and comfort.  While the Bible does not guarantee us a life of comfort, God brings us where He wants us and sends us certain places to do His work.  This is similar to the Fairy Godmother sending Cinderella to the ball where she met the prince.

In Sleeping Beauty, Aurora can only be awakened by the prince’s kiss.  If the prince had not defeated the evil queen in dragon form and eliminated the monstrous cage of brambles engulfing the castle, Aurora would have remained asleep.  The only way she could be awakened and the spell broken was if Prince Charming kissed her.  Aurora needed outside assistance to bring her out of her predicament and change her life.  She needed a savior: Prince Charming.  Christ brings us out of our previous predicament of being slaves to sin and apart from God by giving us new life, making us slaves to righteousness and justifying us with God, as Paul says in Romans.  In doing so, Christ brings us out of our previous predicament and changes our lives forever.

Beauty and the Beast presents a different type of princess movie: Belle provides outside assistance to her father and the Beast as opposed to needing outside assistance for herself.  Belle travels to the castle to save her father but becomes imprisoned by the Beast.  The only way the Beast will release her father is if she breaks the curse and falls in love with him.  In doing this, Belle not only saves her father, but she also breaks the curse the Beast was under and saves him.  Belle also restores beauty and order to the palace.  Belle’s father and the Beast both require outside assistance from Belle to be removed from their predicaments.  God restores beauty in our chaotic and sinful world as Belle helped restore beauty in the castle.  Christ breaks our curse of being slaves to sin and releases us from the prison of sin we were once in before He saved us, similar to how Belle saves the Beast and her father in Beauty and the Beast.

Mulan is another classic Disney princess movie.  Mulan sacrifices herself, paying no heed to the rule against women joining the army.  She sacrifices herself for her feeble father, the only male in the family, because she did not want him killed in battle.  The army discovered Mulan was a woman and banished her (instead of killing her, the traditional Chinese custom).  If this had not occurred, she would not have gained the intelligence necessary to save China.  Through Mulan’s actions, the Chinese army defeated the Huns and her father was saved from going to war.  Similar to Christ saving humanity, Mulan saves China as well as her father.

Superhero movies completely embody the idea and theme of man’s need for a savior.  First, let’s take a look at the word “superhero.”  Merriam-Webster’s New World Dictionary defines “super” as “to a degree greater than normal; higher in rank or position than, superior to; and, greater in quality, amount, or degree than, surpassing.”  The same dictionary defines “hero” as “any man admired for his courage, nobility, or exploits, especially in war; and, as any man admired for his qualities or achievements and regarded as an ideal model.”  Combining these definitions, “superhero” can be defined as “a man greater in quality, amount, or degree than and surpassing other men, who is admired for his courage and nobility.”

In Marvel’s Avengers, only the band of heroes, specifically The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye (after he is released from Loki’s spell), Captain America, and Thor, with their combined abilities, can defeat Loki’s army and recover the powerful Tesseract.  Without this band of heroes, Loki would have taken over the world and used the Tesseract for sinister purposes, ultimately conquering earth.  Although this parallel seems extreme, please bear with me.  Just as only this particular band of heroes can save earth from the villain, only Christ has the power to defeat Satan and win us over, providing us a way back to God.

The Incredible Hulk is a slightly different example of man’s need for a savior as reflected in movies.  After the experiment on Bruce Banner goes wrong, the people in charge attempt to capture and kill him.  The authorities fear his condition and want to avoid the slaughtering of innocent civilians.  However, in their efforts, the fatal error of genetically altering one of their men is made, and he, in the end, becomes a greater threat than the Hulk (Bruce Banner).  Only the Hulk has the strength and ability to defeat the monster due to the genetic altering (as a result of Gamma radiation) that took place in both of them.  The men in charge require outside assistance to save humanity from the new monster they created, and Bruce was the only one capable of finishing the job.  Christ is the only one who can bring us back to God through his death on the cross.  He is the only one who can finish the job to restore us.  Without Christ, we would be lost, just as the people would have been lost without Bruce.

In Captain America: The First Avenger, Steve Rogers, a weakling, is not cleared for service in World War II.  By choice, driven by his desire to fight, he is genetically altered into a “supersoldier.”  The serum is lost after Rogers is transformed, foiling the plan to create an army of genetically-altered supersoldiers designed to win the war.  Captain America becomes the only one strong enough to defeat the Red Skull, the all-powerful leader of HYDRA (the bad guys).  Without Rogers’s alteration, multiple soldiers would have been lost.  Rogers led a rescue mission to save a group of soldiers, including Bucky, his best friend.  Without him, the rescue mission would not have been successful, nor would the Red Skull have been defeated, as he was the only one capable of doing the job.  Once again, Christ is the only one capable of restoring us.  Only the son of God can bring us back to God; Christ sacrificed everything for us.

In Thor, Thor is sent to earth to learn humility.  However, Loki remains and betrays their father.  It is only after Thor learns humility that he can return to save his people.  Without Thor sacrificing the Rainbow Bridge, his only way to return to Earth and see the girl he loves again, his people would be lost.  Thor, after being sent to learn humility, sacrifices his desires for the good of his people.  The Biblical parallel is not quite the same in this example.  Christ did not have to learn humility, as He is perfect.  However, He did humble himself to live as a human and die on the cross for our sins.  Christ sacrificed all after humbling himself.  Christ sacrificed His life, while Thor simply sacrificed not seeing the girl he loved again, making the parallel more difficult to draw.  Both sacrificed out of love: Christ’s love for us; Thor’s love for his father and people.  Thor’s people required his assistance to break the Rainbow Bridge and restore order; humanity required (and requires) Christ’s assistance to redeem us.

A couple of other movies that employ man’s need for a savior include The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as well as The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Once again, these examples are based on the movie adaptations of the original books.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe parallels easily with man’s need for a savior, as C.S. Lewis was a Christian when he wrote the book (the basis for the movie).  It is a parallel of the Bible.  The White Witch represents Satan and Aslan represents God.  Edmund betrays Aslan, just as we betray God through our sin (the origin of our sin nature being the fall of mankind in Genesis chapter three).  Aslan dies on the stone table to buy Edmund back from the White Witch.  Edmund is saved, and Aslan is resurrected.  This clearly parallels our betrayal of God and Christ redeeming us (or buying us back) from our sin nature through His crucifixion.  Aslan’s death on the Stone Table and his resurrection represent Christ’s death on the cross and His resurrection.  Thus, man’s need for a savior is purposefully embodied in this example.

In The Lord of the Rings trilogy, only Frodo can take the ring and get rid of it once and for all.  The lust for the ring’s power is so strong only Frodo can resist it (while he does succumb to the lust for power, he is not wholly defeated).  The journey to save everyone and burn the ring can only be accomplished by, well, himself.  In the same way, Christ is the only one who can save us.  Without His death and resurrection, we would still be separated from God due to our sin.

In each of the above examples, the characters cannot fix their problem by themselves.  They need an external aid to redeem them of their problem and fix the situation.  Similar to the above examples, we cannot fix our sin.  We cannot redeem ourselves; there is no possible way for us to do enough good deeds to make ourselves right with God.  Only Christ can redeem us and fix our problem.  These movies reflect man’s helplessness as well as the fact man is void without God.  These characters reflect man’s need for someone (an external source) to reach out and save them.  This theme is something I stumbled upon through my enjoyment of these films, and drawing parallels between these movies and my faith was enjoyable.  I hope you, the reader, thought it enjoyable as well.  Man knows he is incomplete, but many choose to turn away from the fact we are helpless without Christ, an external source, aiding us and saving us.  Movies reflect the idea man needs an external aid, and I hope this look aided the way you view movies in the future.

Sources

Merriam Webster’s New World Dictionary

Personal experience

Forgotten Gems: Appendix 1 – 1995

Christopher Rush

Half a Score and Seven Years Ago…

It’s not true that I don’t like Christian music.  If you read last year’s series on forgotten musical gems, you delighted in some of the most truly Christian music produced in recent memory, regardless of whether the albums were candidates for Dove Awards.  I enjoy Christian music.  Like all intelligent beings, however, I don’t like things because of their labels but because of their intrinsic merit (and/or potentially their symbolic merit, given the situation).  We have already bemoaned elsewhere the general vapidity of what passes for Christian music in popular circles today, so we certainly need not recapitulate that theme here.  What is worth noting (as we continue our year-long focus of revisiting old friends and tying up loose ends) is the high-water mark of Christian music: 1995.  In addition to the beloved Michael W. Smith album I’ll Lead You Home, 1995 was the year that gave us perhaps the two most important and best Christian albums in the modern musical era: dc Talk’s Jesus Freak and Jars of Clay’s eponymous full-length debut album.  Though they were both released late in the year and didn’t start amassing their widespread worthy acclaim until essentially 1996 (the summer we heard those albums nonstop), 1995 was the year the modern era of Christian music began.  Yes, Sandi, Amy, the Steves, Keith, and Michael (and Carman and Petra and Psalty) had been doing great stuff in the ’70s and ’80s, but their work had rarely travelled beyond the boundaries of in-house Christian listening circles.  Not to say that non-Christian listening audience acceptability is a requisite for good Christian music (often that is a sign of the opposite), but these two landmark albums in question here are an obvious demarcation point in the quality and direction of contemporary Christian music.  When I say “quality” I am not saying what came after these albums were necessarily better, I am saying they became the new standard to which all that has since come has been and should be judged.  If that is not the case, then they are definitely worthy of being considered forgotten gems.

Jars of Clay

Most of us can agree had Jars of Clay done a Harper Lee and not released another thing after this album, they would still have cemented their status of “mandatory listening.”  Upon first listening to this album, opening with “Liquid,” one is immediately struck with the unique Jars of Clay sound.  What Emily Dickinson did for poetry, Jars of Clay did for music — no one can copy it because it is truly unique.  Musically the album travels a diversity of tonalities and moods, yet somehow they are all recognizable as Jars of Clay.  It’s not that they do anything really “groundbreaking” technically.  I’m not saying they invented backtracking, overdubbing, or things like that.  I’m saying it’s a great album with a distinct, unmatchable sound.

Since this is something you probably have access to, and is only “forgotten” in the sense you haven’t thought about it for a while (which, come to think of it, is exactly what “forgotten” really means) — perhaps in contrast to many of last year’s “forgotten gems” which may have been entirely new to you — we need not dwell on the particulars of this or the next album too much.  You probably remember the experiences and feelings of where you were when you first encountered Jars of Clay.  As mentioned already, the opening sounds are arresting: part synth, part medieval chant, part deceptively pop — I dunno … it’s just Jars of Clay.  The lyrics of “Liquid” are likewise deceptively simple: repetitive, yes, but true.  “Sinking” continues the mood and appreciation: we are finally listening to something fresh, something true, and something better than just “contemporary Christian music.”  Obviously “Love Song for a Savior” is a top ten (or so) greatest Christian song of the 20th century.  Those poor saps in the secular world didn’t know what they were doing when they played it on radio stations and malls the country over (just like “Flood”).  That’s fine.  People in the kingdom of darkness usually don’t know what they are doing (but we shouldn’t make fun of them for it).  It made soundtracks all over and deservedly so.  Three songs into the album, three distinct sounds, three remarkable demonstrations of musical skill and devotional precision — this is what Christian music is supposed to be.

“Like a Child” is likewise an enjoyable and encouraging and challenging song.  No one is going to stop the album when this comes on.  Same for “Art in Me.”  It helps remind us of Ephesians 2:10 but not in a pedantic way, which is just what Christian aesthetics should do.  By the time we get to “He,” we think we have the “Jars of Clay sound” down, and though the song doesn’t do anything to change our growing impression of who they are, it expands our awareness of their range of topics.  They had an ability to sing about topical things as well as transcendental things in a way that made it all important and worth listening to, even if the subject is one we would normally dismiss in anyone but our favorite artists.  Some consider it the best song on the album (of course, there are those who say that about every song); some forget it exists — but it’s there.  Don’t skip it.  The extended outro is a gripping yet comforting reminder of who God is — not in the most profoundly intellectual way, perhaps, but this is a musical album, after all, not a systematic theology monograph.  “Boy on a String” is a great reminder of two important things: 1) Jars of Clay is a musically diverse band, and, more importantly, 2) they are here to worship God more than entertain us — that they worship God in a way that also entertains (and challenges and motivates) us is a nice bonus, really.

“Flood” may have been most people’s first experience of Jars of Clay, and that’s just fine.  Hearing it on what the kids call “secular radio stations” was a bizarre experience, but I don’t think (if memory serves, which it may not do in this instance) I heard it over the Dubuque airwaves before I heard it toward the end of the album in the kitchen of Lake Geneva Youth Camp.  The backlash against Jars of Clay for having a “crossover” hit is inscrutable to me — what part of “in the world but not of the world” is so difficult to grasp?  All of it, yes … I know.  But it shouldn’t bother us when others also enjoy hearing a song by a Christian musician — it’s not like the message or authenticity of the song or artist was compromised when they wrote it.  They weren’t pandering.  They were just making superior music, like all Christian artists should be doing.  “Worlds Apart” is possibly the finest aesthetic experience of the album, which is saying a great deal, all considered.  It asks questions we often ask (with a haunting musical accompaniment we usually imagine for ourselves anyway).  “Blind” is a good album closer, despite being musically unlike most of the album.  Again we are treated to the diversity and skill of Jars of Clay’s musicality.  It is a calming, mellowing conclusion (before the secret bonus conclusion).  “Four Seven” is a good bonus, a more up-tempo “by the way, this is who we are and why” secret ending to a top-notch album, all the more remarkable for being a debut album.

Now that you have been reminded of an album you used to listen to with great regularity, I suspect if you were to dig it out again and give it another listen you would be pleasantly reminded why you spent all those hours listening to this exquisite album in the first place.

Jesus Freak

You put this in and you think … wait, is this dc Talk?  You check the jewel case and realize yes, yes it is.  The new and improved dc Talk.  If you need to think of it in these terms, it was the band that made tobyMac happen (does that help?).  Hopefully you have a good working memory of this album and have only slightly forgotten it, so little needs be said about it here.  But when does that stop us here at Redeeming Pandora?

“So Help Me God” is arguably not the best song on the album, but it does give us a good dose of the new sounds and attitude of the band — despite all the times we listened to Free at Last, Jesus Freak was, frankly, a welcome relief and definitely a step toward full maturity for the band (perhaps realized on Supernatural).  “Colored People” was another good song, far more musical and intelligent than a lot of their previous album.  It wasn’t my favorite song on the album, but listening to it again now, the musicality of it is refreshing.  “Jesus Freak” was probably my least favorite song, perhaps because it seemed to be trying too hard musically to be hip.  It was too much like Free at Last for my taste — and I enjoyed Free at Last.  The guitar solo also was not pleasant to listen to — and this is coming from a guy who enjoys a great number of Angus Young guitar soli.  Part of my disfavor was the term “freak,” most likely.  It was part of that whole “the term ‘Christian’ is blasé, now — we need to be fresh and hip for a new generation” movement that did more harm than good for the church.  Without trying to sound hubristic, I knew it was shash from the beginning.  I get the basic sentiment of the song, what it is intending to say: “don’t be afraid to be a Christian — reputation is less important than piety.”  Yes, I get it (and got it even then).  But being devoted to Christ is not “freakish.”  The world was created by and intended for subservience to God — it’s those who reject that that are the freaks.  So for me this is the low point of the album (not counting “Mrs. Morgan” and the “reprise” later).  Others lapped it up like syrup on pancakes, and I was fine just letting that go.

Unquestionably, though, one of the real treats of the album is the fourth song, “What If I Stumble?”  That is a great song from beginning to end, even if the beginning makes you think your cd player has skipped to a Seals and Crofts album.  The sentiment is still powerful, even today (hopefully that’s not a sign of lack of spiritual maturity).  dc Talk next takes a once-popular song, “Day By Day,” from a lackluster musical, Godspell (no offense), and makes it interesting and enjoyable.  “Between You and Me” continues the atmosphere of greatness.  Critics look at this and pick on its lyrical simplicity (again missing the entire point of the worshipful atmosphere).  Certainly I’m in favor of intellectual profundity (you have been paying attention these three years, right?) in musical worship and doctrine, but sometimes lyrical concision performs that even with a “simple” hook.  Repentance begins with a simple act of realization and confession of one’s wrongdoings — often with a simple declaration as repeated here.  “Like It Love It Need It” is a better song than is usually accredited — give it another listen and hopefully you will agree.  Even though it says rock-and-roll won’t save you in a rock-and-roll song, it’s not really ironic, since none should be expecting rock-and-roll to save them.  Part of the success of the song is its critique of self-righteous Christianity … and we all know there’s enough of that around.  Present scholarly journals excepted, of course.

If I say to you “In the Light,” would that be enough to cause you to dig out your old Jesus Freak album and listen to it again?  I know it would for me.  Don’t feel bad for listening to this song an average of five times an hour for the rest of your life.  It is clearly the apex of the album and evokes genuine emotion every time you hear it.  I, too, am still a man in need of a Savior.

“What Have We Become?” is a not-so-subtle critique of contemporary Christianity and rightly so.  It is strong but not harsh, penetrating but not pejorative.  Musically, it is one of the better selections on the album, showing off again the great decision of the group to do real music this time around, singing well and not just rapidly speaking lyrics at us with electronical backbeats.  “Mind’s Eye” is another solid song, blending musical skill and intelligent lyrics.  “Alas, My Love” ends the diverse album with another new sound: a proem of sorts, finishing up with a solid musical outro both eerie and energizing.  Give it all another go.

That was a Year

I can’t prove any cause and effect, but after that came Bloom by Audio Adrenaline (probably made before the two albums discussed) and Newsboys’ Take Me to Your Leader in ’96 (though some would say their Going Public in ’94 was better — let’s not argue).  ’96 also saw the debut of Third Day.  MercyMe was just starting out and certainly owes a great deal of their success to the albums of ’95 (and ’94 and ’96, sure).  The more recent bands the kids seem to like also owe a great deal to these albums: your Casting Crowns, your Switchfoot, your … well, frankly, I would just embarrass myself to guess as to what the kids are listening to these days — let’s just say the whole positive, encouraging crowd owes a great deal of its ontology to Jars of Clay and Jesus Freak.  1995: now that was a year.  Go dig these albums out of your garage or wherever you keep your ’90s memory-bilia and remember and re-enjoy a couple of foundational forgotten gems.  You may even realize they are much better than the provender being offered to you today as gourmet fare.

A Summary of the Validity of the Modern Secession Movement

Jared Emry

It all started on November 7th in Louisiana where a man named Michael E. published a petition asking for Louisiana to be given the chance to peacefully secede from the United States.  It was followed by other states.  It was followed by other states, Texas being the first to reach the twenty-five thousand signatures needed to be considered by President Obama.  There are two sides that need to be addressed regarding this occurrence.  The first is a discussion on how these various petitions will probably affect the world.  The second is a discussion on whether or not secession is an ideologically plausible form of redress to the grievances of the federal government.

There are various outcomes to what these petitions will bring.  Some of the more popular thoughts about them include a second American civil war or simply letting Texas and other states to go their own way.  Both of those are not very likely.  Firstly, a second American Civil War would be shut down before it really gained momentum.  Let’s face it; there are only a few tens of thousands of signatures, hardly enough to stand against the American military.  Also, not everyone who signed would be really willing to fight for independence if it came down to such drastic measures.  Anyways, the government has the signers’ names and could just assassinate them, because America was unfortunately determined to be a battlefield by the NDAA.  It is doubtful that another civil war would be caused by a mere petition.  Civil war is not upon America as a direct result of the petitions.  On the other hand, there is no way Obama is going to let a state go.  Ever since Abraham Lincoln made preserving the Union a rallying cry to be echoed throughout the textbooks and hearts of children, anyone threatening the Federal Governments control over the states, Obama would actually feel obligated to start a second civil war if secession actually did happen, regardless of what these petitions say.  Based on the fact Obama is not going to submit to the demands of the petition, no matter how strong, it can be safely assumed no secession will happen as a result of these petitions.  Power isn’t something easy for someone to give up; the government will not just allow a state to go.

Regardless of the near impossibility of secession, there will still be some tangible and significant result of these petitions.  Firstly, the petitions tell the government a lot of people have a strong dislike for the current Federal Government.  In essence these petitions can be viewed as a mass showing of general disapproval.  Seen this way, the petitions are a stimulant to many grassroots groups and the Occupy Movements throughout the nation.  The “hactivist” group, Anonymous, is sure to use these petitions to fuel their war on the Federal Government.  These petitions are probably going to help fuel protests around the country, including the upcoming January 21st inauguration protest.  There is no reason to assume the petitions won’t have a large effect, but it won’t produce secession.  Slaves aren’t freed by petitioning their masters, at least not initially.  These petitions are just little steps in a growing snowball effect.  These petitions are dangerous for the Federal Government, just not immediately.  The larger consequences of these petitions will probably be in the future.  A petition like this probably will have the numbers exaggerated in the years to come.

Considering the groups that gain from the petitions, there will be a worldwide repercussion.  The leaderless collective known as Anonymous already openly declared a propaganda war against America’s Federal Government.  It would not be surprising if Anonymous uses the petition as proof for the people’s support of their collective.  They claim to support the people in everything they do.  Anonymous already has one of the world’s best pubic relation operations; additional justification is exactly what they would want to increase their numbers.  The Occupy Movement would also gain a significant boost from the petitions for two separate reasons.  The first is the petitions themselves will generate new protestors because they will not and cannot be fulfilled.  The second reason is Anonymous has allied themselves to the Occupy Movement and that alone means that the more supporters Anonymous gets, the more Occupiers there will be.  Other grassroots movements will share a similar benefit.  As the petitions are denied, there will be disillusioned people who will turn to any number of grassroots groups.  Beyond just population numbers, the Occupiers and Anonymous of the EU will also likely be fueled by the petition, because it will tell them they have continued support from some of America’s people.  The many diverse consequences of these petitions are unimaginable but very real.

Secession itself is of another character entirely.  Whether or not it will actual happen, secession is a strong action and ideologically has a great effect on the people.  Secession is simply the formal leaving a group, but it carries more weight than that.  Secession is asking for unconditional separation; in that aspect, it is a lot like a divorce.  To attempt to secede is to claim reconciliation is impossible.  The War of Northern Aggression was all the more violent because of this simple principle.  By seceding, the South claimed the North was so terrible it was worth dying to stay separated, and the South continued to prove the concept by fighting until there was very little left of them.  The North paralleled the South by not willing reconciliation after the secession.  The North looted almost everything the South had, killed most of the working class, and in turn also proved the South’s cause for secession.  In fact, when secession is mentioned nowadays, the American Civil War is almost always thought of.  History aside, secession is often considered the ultimate form of civil disobedience to a government.  Secession is telling the government it is an illegitimate institution and its laws don’t apply.  The significance of such a declaration is astounding.  In essence, the petitions are directly stating the signers’ believe themselves to be victims of an abusive relationship between them and the Federal Government.  They are ending a harmful relationship.

Secession also happens to have always been a part of America; the American Revolutionary war was also a war of secession.  However, it should be noted secession and revolution are not the same.  To secede is not necessarily to rebel.  To rebel is not necessarily to secede.  In the American Revolution, the patriots fought to create and promote a government necessarily opposed to what was their current government.  Secession is taking an already existing government or community and claiming it is equal to the governing body of a federation of governments or communities.  In essence, rebellion does not have to take place in secession because it is merely invalidating the superiority of another government.  Historically, secession is a form of redress against grievances.  If one’s friends disregard a member of a circle of friends, does not that member have a right to leave behind those friends in search of new ones?  Or maybe even to become a recluse?  A state always retains the right to leave an alliance when the alliance is not being honored.  It is for this reason secession was legal up until the War of Northern Aggression where the governing body of the alliance violently forced members to stay in the alliance.  Essentially, the governing body of the alliance violently rebelled against members of the alliance.  It could be considered a coup d’état, except that the military force was technically external instead of internal.  Secession is a reasonable form of redress in the American Tradition.

Today there are many reasons motivating a petition for secession.  The first and most important reason is human rights are being trampled on, and the government refuses to accept other petitions for redress.  That is, however, an extremely broad claim, but there are a few main specificities commonly referenced.  The first major issue deserving redress is the national debt and deficit.  The national debt reduces the people to the state of slavery; the deficit constantly makes it worse by spending more than we have.  The American Dollar is backed by the Gross Domestic Product (GDP).  In other words, it is based on the income of the citizens.  Essentially, the American people are the collateral behind the money.  The citizen loses the rights of life, liberty, and property to the owner of the dollar.  The second great trampling comes from the Obamacare law.  The people and the states rejected the law with numerous law suits and protests.  Every single petition by the states was denied by the Federal Government.  This is essential, because it clearly shows the governing body does not care about the members of the alliance.  The states were denied their right and duty to redress the federal government as they were meant to be able to do by the Constitution.  Essentially, the contract between the states and the Federal Government was shown to have been broken.  The states are left trying to uphold only the ghost of the Constitution, while the Federal Government exercises power beyond the binding mandates.  The third top issue is probably the NDAA itself.  This law gave the Federal Government the right of life and death over every single citizen in America.  The Federal Government had decided to finally revoke the right of life.  The NDAA also included the suspension of the writ of Habeas Corpus, essentially imposing a weaker form of martial law.  The president has signed a bill giving the Federal Government the right to indefinitely detain anyone for any reason without a charge, lawyer, or a trial.  Just the fact the NDAA got that far is a shocking sign of how tyrannical the Federal Government has become.  The fourth major issue is over the right to property.  This is found in a private company known as the IRS.  The income tax is nothing short of theft.  There is no law mandating the paying of the income tax.  About forty percent of the tax goes into the hands of private bankers at the Federal Reserve.  This is a clear violation of the right to property.  In addition to these main four points are additional grievances too numerous to count.

The petitions to secede from the Federal government may indeed be futile, but they are made of the same essence that made this country.  Maybe it won’t be this batch of petitions, but each ignored petition stacks heavily against the oppressor.  Each small step affects the country and the world as a whole.  It would be ignorant to just write off these petitions as unimportant.  As for secession itself, it is just over the horizon.  Either the Federal Government will allow for reconciliation, or it will find itself without the members that compose it.

Top Ten Most Irksome Things on Facebook

Kaitlyn Thornton Abbott

1. Instagram-ing Portraits of One’s Food

Maybe my mind has not caught up with the ever changing pace of the teenage culture of today, but to me, it seems a bit outrageous to take portraits of one’s food and post it on the Internet.  The only reasonable explanation I can think of photographing food would be to put it on a cooking/recipe Web site.  There may be a fair few who actually do that, but as a generalization, these photos are “instagramed” and linked to someone’s Facebook account, usually with the title, “Eating healthy!” or, “Mmmmm chocolate #gonnagetfat #sorrynotsorry.”

2. Hashtagging

What are hashtags, anyways?  Most of us hear the word all the time and see the pound (#) symbol with words without spacing and don’t really understand the significance of it.  The Twitter help center defines hashtag: The # symbol, called a hashtag, is used to mark keywords or topics in a Tweet.  It was created organically by Twitter users as a way to categorize messages.  People use hashtags before a relevant keyword or phrase (no spaces) in their Tweet to categorize those Tweets and help them show more easily in Twitter Search.  Clicking on a hashtagged word in any message shows you all other Tweets marked with that keyword.  Hashtags in and of themselves aren’t bad; don’t misconstrue what I’m saying.  For the use of Twitter, they are extremely helpful and relevant.  What is annoying about them is when people translate them over to Facebook.  Instead of using them to sort messages, hashtags have now become the fad on Facebook to describe an emotion, usually after a very emotional status that implies the emotion through the tone.

3. Political Fights/Tangents

If you are connected to any form of a social networking site, you have observed some form of a political rant, tangent, fight, etc.  People feel the need to discuss their political ideology on a social forum so scores of people can see how they know how to run the government much better than the current administration.  People create “memes” to make light of the situation, but it honestly is just a form of disrespect to whoever the meme is of.  Facebook has become the breeding ground for drama and discussions.  Instead of sitting down face to face and discussing the presidential debates, they instead resort to posting their immediate thoughts and emotional responses to Facebook.  For example, and these are just a few I noticed over the past election, “Forget Obama AND Romney; Gary Johnson all the way!”  “Ew, Obama.  You disgust me.”  “Biden, try being respectful during debates.”  “Mitt Romney is the savior of our country!”  And so on and so forth.

4. Everyday Life Status

None of us care that you’re “off to the gym with Susie!” or “dinner time!” or, my favorite, “Breathing in that air!”  I’m sure there are some people dying to know what you’re doing every second of the day, but as a majority, the Facebook community is fairly irritated by these status updates, which means we have to go in and hide you in our newsfeed or delete you.  The latter doesn’t seem too harsh, I’ll admit, but with the amount of Facebook changes that take place, it’s far too difficult to spend the time trying to figure it out every time the privacy settings change.  Now, deleting you seems like a fairly simple conclusion, yes?  The problem that arises here is if someone notices you have deleted them, it becomes a personal attack, feelings become hurt, and their pride is bruised.

5. Facebook Relatives

Many of us have THAT relative, whether it be a grandmother attempting to work technology and be cool, or an over-protective aunt, or even one’s own parent(s).  There is a lot of jesting on the Internet.  Our generation is one rich in sarcasm and quite fluent in it — it’s been adapted into our language; it’s second nature at this point.  Most adults don’t realize this, a lot of the time.  Instead, they take every joke as an insult or the actual attitude the teenager has.  For example, there’s a meme that shows a person with a fist in the air with a speech bubble, 1st quarter: “GET ALL A’s!” and then, the same picture with the words, Rest of the year: “JUST DON’T FAIL!”  I, myself, posted this picture to Facebook merely as a joke — I found it amusing, but my family members did not.  This picture ended up with comments from my mother and father saying they work too hard and pay too much for my education to goof off and not care about my studies.  They went on to say I needed to get off of Facebook and to begin my homework.  Later that evening, an older cousin of mine messaged me, giving me a lecture that went along the lines of, “You’re only a senior.  You have so much more schooling ahead of you.  If you continue to have this attitude you will not get into college, which means you will not get a job, which means you will end up sad, alone, and with twelve cats.”  Point being, adults don’t understand sarcastic humor.

6. Self Portraits

My father asked me the other day why people take pictures in the bathroom mirror.  I honestly could not explain it.  Why people decide to take pictures of their (usually) filthy bathroom mirror astounds me.

Another aspect of self-portraits, or “selfies,” is the now ever-so-famous duck face.  How this is attractive … I don’t know.  What is the duck face, you ask?  Well, the duck face is the face girls make when they’re attempting to look attractive by pursing their lips into a “seductive” kissy face.  It’s really amusing to see this face.

When taking selfies, a lot of people don’t know how to do it appropriately, and, as a result, end up revealing a lot more of themselves than needed.  My advice?  Put on more modest clothing, and we wouldn’t have this issue.

Selfies with you kissing your significant other.  This is annoying; some things need to be private — that is one of them.  Nobody wants to see this; it looks dumb, and when, not if, when, you break up with “the best boyfriend everrrrr,” you’ll realize how dumb these pictures look.

7. Antagonists on Social Media

Although this fits in rather well to the point about political tangents, it is a tad different.  These are the people who specifically post things to start arguments.  Instead of posting uplifting statuses about life, or inspirational quotes, they, instead, decide to post something they know will get people riled up, merely for the sake of their own enjoyment.  Examples of this are, “Cheerleading is not a sport.”  Cheerleaders are some of the most intense people when it comes to defending what they do, of course it’s going to get a rise out of them.  Also, “Women don’t have the right to choose what to do to their body.”  The abortion argument is such a heated topic nowadays, if one even mentions the words “pro-life” or “pro-choice,” an argument will ensue.

The flip side to the antagonists on Facebook are those who post passive-aggressive statuses to the antagonists.  These are the people who see themselves as better than everyone commenting on the status, so they decide it’d be better to make a pointed, yet vague status at the person starting the argument.  It usually includes something along the lines of, “People are so immature when they feel the need to post statuses about _________.”  They completely use circular logic, and it’s quite annoying to have to deal with.

8. PeOpLE WhO TypE LYkE Dis

I sincerely hope that hurt your eyes to read, because it hurt my mind to type.  People who type like that, one, need to learn proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation; and two, need to realize how incredibly obnoxious this is.  Nobody wants to read something that resembles hieroglyphics they have to decipher.  You completely lose the respect of the people you’re trying to converse with, and you project this uneducated image of yourself.  I beg of you, never do this.

9. Game Requests

I am so tired of game requests.  If you want to play games with a few of your friends, by all means, go right ahead.  But for the majority of us, we are tired of game requests.  Farmville, Tetris, Castleville, etc. are clogging up both my newsfeed and my invites page.  I do not want to receive your pumpkin, nor do I want my sheep to eat your carrots, nor do I want to play Tetris.  Stop.  Sending.  These.  I cannot emphasize enough how obnoxious it is having to constantly go in and block not only people, but multiple people who keep sending the same invitation over and over and over.

10. People who have Started Confusing Facebook with Real Life

Facebook is only a projection of what we want people to see.  If you post Bible verses all the time, people will begin to get the impression you are a Godly person.  If you post pictures of you going out and partying, people will get the impression that you’re a partier.  People don’t post about their financial troubles, their gross health issues, or anything too personal.  They only post what they want you to see, and people need to realize Facebook doesn’t give you the whole picture.

This brings me to the last point: Facebook envy.  Stop getting so emotional because you see pictures of your friends hanging out or someone you kind of know posting about how busy they always are.  Don’t get envious of their apparent social life.  Again, you don’t know what else is going on in their life.