Joanna Larson

Oftentimes, readers of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice like to make fun of Mrs. Bennet. She’s obnoxious, loud, and constantly nagging all five of her daughters to find a husband. We feel second-hand embarrassment for the way she intrudes upon her daughters’ lives, and the extremes she goes to in pursuit of finding them suitable matches. There are still mothers like this nowadays, but back in the early 19^th century, it was necessary for mothers to have this kind of attitude because women were expected to marry early and raise a family.

In the early 19^th century, a woman’s social status was almost completely dependent on that of her husband. Although feminism was making small accomplishments, women were still expected to marry at a young age, have many children, and keep the house in order. Many times, they married for social and financial security, rather than love. In Pride and Prejudice, Charlotte Lucas is an example of this predicament; unmarried at 27 and not particularly good looking, she knows she needs to find a man, and she needs to find one fast, lest she die an old maid. When Mr. Collins enters her life, she sees her opportunity and takes it. She doesn’t love him, nor is she attracted to him; she thinks of him as “neither sensible nor agreeable” (Austen 91), but Charlotte knows no one better will come along. Elizabeth is shocked at how Charlotte would be so willing to marry Mr. Collins, especially since he had proposed to her just a few days prior.

“I see what you are feeling,” replied Charlotte. “You must be surprised, very much surprised — so lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marry you. But when you have had time to think it over, I hope you will be satisfied with what I have done. I am not romantic, you know; I never was. I ask only a comfortable home; and considering Mr. Collins’ character, connection, and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state.”

When Elizabeth asks Charlotte how she could ever be happy with a man like Collins, she responds, “happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance…It is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life” (17). Charlotte is content to be with someone who will provide her with a roof over her head and a decent social standing. If she doesn’t like him as a person, that is something she’s willing to live with. Marrying someone for financial security rather than love would most likely be viewed as selfish by today’s standards, but for Charlotte, it is a necessary move to make. During this time, marriage was a woman’s lifeline. Austen tells us, “Without having ever been handsome, she (Charlotte) felt all the good luck of it.” Charlotte is at peace with her decision; the very opposite of what Elizabeth would have been if she married Mr. Collins.

Mrs. Bennet wants the best for her girls (by “best,” I mean financially supported), and she goes to extreme and oftentimes foolish lengths to “help” them find suitors. When she finds out the young and eligible Mr. Bingley is coming to town, she immediately wants to set him up with her daughter Jane. Before she knows anything about his character or morals, she tells her husband, “Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!” (1). After hitting it off with Mr. Bingley at a ball, Jane receives an invitation to dine with him and his sisters at their home in Netherfield Park. Normally, Jane would take the carriage, since Netherfield Park is too far a distance for any civilized woman to walk alone. With the full knowledge that this will embarrass her poor daughter, Mrs. Bennet makes Jane ride to Netherfield Park on horseback; she knows it is going to rain, which, in turn, will force Jane to stay at the Bingleys’ house until the weather clears up. Her plan works perfectly; too perfectly, actually. By the time Jane reaches the house, she is soaked and falls ill with a fever. She is forced to recover at Mr. Bingley’s house, and Mrs. Bennet isn’t apologetic. In fact, when she goes to visit Jane and see how she is feeling, she encourages Mr. Bingley to let Jane stay longer, which is just unnecessary. Staying in Mr. Bingley’s presence for a longer amount of time presents more opportunity for him to fall in love with Jane, or so Mrs. Bennet hopes.

Jane is not the only daughter Mrs. Bennet hounds over. Before Mr. Collins marries Charlotte, his intention is to marry Elizabeth Bennet. He is the heir to the Bennet household, and even though he is the most pompous, idiotic man you could ever meet, Mrs. Bennet gives him her blessing to ask for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage. When Elizabeth gently declines his proposal, Mrs. Bennet is infuriated Lizzy would turn down such an offer. She tries to console Mr. Collins’s wounded pride by telling him, “Lizzy shall be brought to reason. I will speak to her directly. She is a very headstrong, foolish girl, and does not know of her own interest; but I will make her know it” (82). Of course, Lizzy’s position is not swayed. She will not marry Mr. Collins. Mrs. Bennet resolves to never speak to Lizzy again, which of course doesn’t happen, but it goes to show how serious she was about her marrying Mr. Collins.

It also seems Mrs. Bennet is a little too hurried in getting her daughters out on the social scene. We know Lydia, the youngest Bennet, is brought out at a very young age. The typical age of “coming out” was around seventeen. At seventeen, a young woman was supposed to start looking for suitors. For whatever reason, Lydia came out early, and she is boy crazy. Her mother does nothing to stop this childish attitude; she encourages it in fact. When the regiment comes to town for the season, both mother and daughter are ecstatic. Surely one of the hundreds of young men will be an able husband. Although she is criticized by others, Mrs. Bennet still encourages Lydia to go to balls and does nothing to tame her wild behavior. Eventually, Lydia runs away with Mr. Wickham, and the two elope. Of course Mrs. Bennet is distraught one of her daughters runs away from home, but the thing on her mind isn’t if Lydia is okay, it is whether Wickham is going to marry her. All the sisters know Wickham never intended to marry Lydia, but after Mr. Darcy pays him off, all Mrs. Bennet cares about is  her daughter is married, and the family is saved from social ruin.

There are many reasons to view Mrs. Bennet as a bad mother. She is nosy, embarrassing, and often out of line. She is so obsessed with finding husbands for her daughters she forgets to take the time to enjoy life and enjoy time with her children.  It seems if she had just calmed down and let her daughters live their own lives, everyone would’ve been happier. If she really loved her girls, she wouldn’t have been so annoying, right? No. I believe she acts this way because she loves them. Yes, she is out of bounds on many occasions, but because of their particular situation, she was doing her best to make sure all her girls were taken care of. After Mr. Bennet’s death, the estate would not go to any of the girls. It was pledged to another; so for her, it was love second, a roof over their heads first. While it is perfectly acceptable to laugh at Mrs. Bennet’s antics and mock her embarrassing behavior, I hope readers can gain more understanding as to why she acts the way she does.

Bibliography

Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. New York, Modern House, 1995. Print.

Rothman, Joshua. “On Charlotte Lucas’s Choice.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker. 18 June 2017. http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/on-charlotte-lucass-choice.