Katie Kenney

“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.” ~ Allen Ginsberg

In today’s world, everyone wants their opinions to be listened to. People yell and scream just for their one sentence to be heard by those around them. Being civil to one another isn’t seen as important when people think they deserve to be heard. On social media, people spew their opinions about everything anywhere they can, whether it be commenting on the media or posting something. In rallies, campaigns, and other events that are similar, the volume rises as people become desperate. They resort to speaking louder and stronger if they are given no attention. Everyone is so desperate to be listened to because it is said if no one pays attention to you then you shouldn’t have said anything at all and you don’t even matter. Validation is found by others and that just isn’t okay. Everyone should have their own voice and not care so much about what other people think. No one should fight to be heard.

Increasing the volume of the voice will not make it heard easier. In a Socratic circle, people sit in a circle of chairs and talk about a given topic. It is supposed to be civil. No one should be talked over or have their words rudely dismissed. However, a point can come where people ignore the “rules” of the Socratic circle. Someone is talked over being another person finds what they have to say is more important. Opinions are said to be stupid so another’s opinion can be seen as smart compared to it. The volume rises and rises, with no limit to the noise apparent. It gets out of control. People just want to be heard so they yell at each other as someone yells right back at them, but neither can hear what the other has to say because they are so focused on getting their words the loudest. Eventually, the circle calms down or is told to tone it down by someone who is outside of the circle. When reviewing what had happened, no one knows what was said by the others because they were trained on being heard themselves. If someone gets loud, then those around that person will get loud as well. It’s a chain reaction that will only end in a crash. There is a difference between speaking up and speaking over. Standing up for what you believe in and putting your thoughts out in the open can be absolutely terrifying. Speaking over someone so what you believe to be true can be heard takes no courage at all, just disrespect. No one can hear the person who talks over another because the words muddle together and the people were originally listening to the first speaker.

In a crowded room or area, it is hard to pick out a specific speaker or even a particular conversation. It is incredibly loud, with the volume rising and lowering when a new speaker joins or leaves a conversation. At times when this pertains, people can get loud so those around them can hear what they are trying to say. However, despite their tries, the people around them might not hear or understand a single word they’ve said because so many other people are doing the exact same thing. All the words mix together, allowing no one to be heard entirely. Trying to get louder than the crowd just won’t work and it can be irritating, but there are other opportunities to finish the interrupted discussion that was being held. There are times when things need to be said right then in that instant, but if it is a regular conversation the words can wait. There is almost always another chance to share your opinion on a topic. There is no need to push people aside so others can hear you.

No one likes to be talked over so someone else can be heard. Firstly, it’s plain rude to ignore and dismiss what someone has to say in order for what you have to say to be heard. The Bible says to put God first, others second, and ourselves last. If Christians interrupt someone spitefully they aren’t obeying what God has said because they are putting themselves above others. Christians are supposed to be kind to others and show God’s love through them, but if they deliberately speak over someone because they think they should be heard instead of the person, they aren’t showing any kind of love, let alone God’s love. Love is patient and love is kind, as said in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love also isn’t self-seeking, which people are when they decide they are a large degree better than everyone else. Deliberately disobeying the Bible is deliberately disobeying God and that isn’t at all what Christianity is about.

On social media, it is a common occurrence to see people’s opinions spewed everywhere they can be, whether it be in the form of a meme or just a plain old comment. There comes a point when the freedom of speech seems to have become freedom of cruelty toward everyone everywhere. There are regular fights in the comment section because someone disagreed with what another had to say and it turned into the two getting angry, using the caps lock way too much, and ultimately insulting the other in any way they possibly can. This can happen between absolute strangers on the Internet or it could even be those who talk to each other in real life. Either way, if someone is saying her opinion is superior to someone else’s, then it doesn’t matter who she is arguing with. They will still want to show their supposed superiority and sometimes if they feel as if what they’re saying is less than what someone else has to say, they’ll resort to insulting the person. Insulting someone because you feel like she is better than you is a defense mechanism. It allows someone to ignore her feeling of inferiority and foist a feeling of inferiority on the person who she actually believes is superior.

At some point in everyone’s life, there is a person who is quiet and doesn’t really have anything to say. They don’t contribute to discussion much so their opinion on things is unknown except to those to whom they do talk. One day, there comes a time when a discussion is being had and the shy, quiet person says something and people are amazed because they never hear her opinions. People pay attention to what she has to say because they don’t know how long it will be until they get to hear her speak again. People value her words so much more than they value the guy’s words who screams his opinions at you. When words are meaningful and thought out, they are more valuable than the words thrown at people in a millisecond. In the same way, opinions said by a person who is patient and mindful to what others have to say are better listened to than the opinions of someone who yells over people to be heard and doesn’t care if he is being rude, only that what he says is louder than what anyone else has to say. People are listened to if they are kind and civil toward others and do not tear people down in order to build themselves, or their opinions, up.

In this world, it can be hard to feel like you are listened to, that what you say matters. People everywhere fight to be the best, whether it be in sports, in a debate, or just in casual discussion. If someone’s voice is talked over and stomped by those around them, then that person can easily feel as if she should have no voice at all. There are times when someone is insulted because another person thinks what she said was stupid, or something along those lines and getting insulted can hurt. It can be painful to be told what you thought up and said isn’t worthy of the conversation being held. It can warp a person’s mind into thinking everything she says is stupid and unworthy. She may start to wonder why she even contributes to conversations and why she doesn’t just stop. She can think she should stop because there’s no point in talking if everything that comes out is useless. So, she might stop. It can start out as just speaking less and not getting involved in excessive conversation. It can turn into not starting conversations and barely being able to hold a discussion. Their constant contribution can become a few sentences spoken every day. They might lose their voice, literally and figuratively. If they don’t speak what’s on their minds, then it’s almost as if they’ve become mute and aren’t trying to do anything about it. And they won’t unless they find a reason to. However, the day can come when a discussion happens and they are passionate about the topic. They can say something, whether it be out of pure passion for what is being discussed or be because someone urged them to use their words. Either way, people heard what they said and are taken aback just because the normally quiet people said something. Over time, confidence can grow and fall because relapses and breakdowns are real, and there will come a time when the people are contributing to conversations the same amount of times all around them are. They can get their voices back and they did because they stopped caring so much about what other people thought. They stopped caring about whether they were heard or not and that allowed them to develop into the person who says things and is listened to.

Insecure people can care so much about what other people think. Even the every day person, who doesn’t have many things they dislike about themselves or aren’t very comfortable with, can care about other people’s opinions. Caring too much about what other people think can be debilitating. Opinions can cease to exist, clothing can change, and confidence can decrease just because of what others say. Losing your voice can be a possibility when you care a lot about what other people think about you. Everyone is her own person, with her own thoughts and opinions, desires and pleasures, life and death. Your life is yours for the keeping. No one can take that away. So, no one should live their life in accordance with what anyone other than God has to say. Yes, people should listen to and care about what other people have to say, but they shouldn’t let what others say dictate their lives. To “gain your own voice,” one must stop thinking what other people will say is so much better than what you want to say.

Overly confident people can be a pain to be around. It doesn’t matter if you are talking to them or not, you can hear them from a distance showing off their supposed ultimate superiority. Their bigheadedness is shed off on everyone in their vicinity and everyone can see the size of their egos makes up for any intelligence they may not have. They don’t allow opinions that go against what they believe to be true. They are so concerned with what they say and do is heeded they make sure only what they say is listened to. Because of that, people just stop caring about what the flamboyant kid says. Their words lose value and importance over time. If force comes into the equation, then respect for others is thrown out of the metaphorical window and a disrespectful person’s words are often not the most meaningful. Politely spoken words are taken into consideration more than the rash, rude ones.

Just doing a small act of kindness for someone, like letting him speak without talking over him, can make a person’s entire day, possibly even his week. People in this world can be so rude and just allowing a person to speak when he hasn’t been able to can be one of the only good things that’ll happen to him that week. It can show the person people do listen even though he may not be shouting at the top of his lungs. There can be times in one’s life when one just feels like she isn’t good enough or she just doesn’t matter at all. This isn’t true, as everyone knows. Every single person has worth and the ability to do something with what she says. Whether it is something good or something bad is up to the spokesperson. If someone decides to use her voice to shut people down in order to make herself rise up in her mind, her voice isn’t being used for what it was made for. Our voices were made to spread God’s word and love. If someone tells the group another has been trying to say something but has been talked over multiple times, that someone is using her voice to be helpful and kind to others.

It can be hard to take a step back from speaking everything you think. People want other people to care about them, which includes what they say. The listening ears of others do not determine a person’s worth and neither does another person. Your life isn’t determined by how many people listen to you or how many sentences have been taken into consideration by others There are more important things than being heard. Being kind to others and finding out who you are are more beneficial than having yourself be heard. Anyway, unless the talk is of God, all of the things that are talked about are of worldly things. There is so much more than just this world, this earth. Life after death with God is the ultimate goal, and having people listen to what you think of this topic is not going to get you there. Believing in God’s word and spreading it is more helpful in getting you to Heaven than making people listen to you. Using force is only beneficial in Star Wars. People will listen to you if you let them do it on their own, but making someone else quiet so you can throw your words out in the open doesn’t really make a person want to listen to you. It’s like cleaning: if someone is told to clean her room then it makes the task so much harder and unsatisfying than if that person decided to do it because she either wanted to or thought it was necessary. People make their own decisions and live their own lives. Not a single person needs to find validation from another person. A person’s voice matters whether it is heard or not.

Bibliography

Petit, Zachary. “72 of the Best Quotes About Writing.” Writer’s Digest, 22 June, 2012. www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/there-are-no-rules/72-of-the-best-quotes-about-writing. 23 Nov. 2016.