David Lane

The whiteness of my surroundings grabbed me.  Everything was white.  There was nothing beneath me and nothing above me.  I was floating in an endless space of white.  I decided to leave this place and travel to a hilly area with trees taller than mountains and mountains smaller than pebbles.  I liked it there.  The fan that I held in my hand must have been battery powered because I struggled to find an outlet anywhere.  Many kids were playing by a tree, so I approached them to see if I could find some food.  One kid, taller than the rest but also uglier than the rest, came out from the crowd and told me to follow them into a door located on a tree.  Of course, I had to follow them because they all had screwdrivers for teeth.  As I stepped through the door, they all grabbed me and threw me on a table and began to saw off my leg.  Fortunately, it did not hurt.  But I was afraid that not having a leg would hinder my ability to move.  So I began to kick the kids off of me.  I punted them as far as I could.  The room we were in was not lacking in space and all of the walls were made of rubber.  This made it hard for me to completely ward off all of the kids.  I continued to kick them to the other side of the room, which probably could be measured by the length of four or five microwaves.  We were all very small.  I used the many spears that were strategically placed around the room to ward off my opponents.

After a gruesome five hour battle of standing in one place with one leg (they had succeeded in the amputation of my other leg), I decided to jump on a raft and leave the kids alone.  The raft I boarded was sturdy, and I made sure that it could float by weighing it on a scale nearby.  It was deemed floatable by my good friend, Targus.  Targus was a talking backpack, and I never went anywhere without him.  He had the responsibility of carrying all of my necessary personal belongings such as ham, my laptop, and a few other miscellaneous possessions.  The raft we boarded was moving fast, too fast.  I could not stand up any longer because the power of the wind forced me to kneel.  My surroundings were blurry blobs of Jell-O and Targus was excited, too excited.  He began to jump all around and sing songs about his homeland.  Not knowing what else to do, I joined in.  We sang for what seemed like hours upon hours about friends, family, and food.  He told of his origins and of his family back home.  He told me of his urges to make more of his life and accomplish goals and tackle great feats.  I pushed him off the raft because I decided he would be better off dead than a backpack incapable of doing anything with his life.

The raft had not slowed down, and I was wondering how and when I should get off.  This thought was timely and appropriate because a sign was coming up on the left that read, “David, get off here, right now.”  I hopped off the raft and proceeded toward the sculpture of a dolphin that was located approximately 90 miles ahead of me.  My vision was pretty good, I guess.  A 90-mile walk on one leg seemed somewhat miserable, so I decided to fashion a prosthetic leg out of a nearby branch.  The branch did not work as a leg, so I burned it and cooked some sort of ill-smelling meat over it.  The dolphin sculpture seemed too good to be true, so I decided I would turn around and get back on the raft.  Disappointed in my failure to reach the dolphin, I hopped slowly with my head hung low, too low.  My head was so low that I began to step on my face.  I crushed my eyes with my leg.  My face began to bleed, and I couldn’t see anything.  Everything was red.  For hours I hopped while crushing my own face and bleeding profusely through the opening’s of my skull.  The trek was tiresome, but eventually I reached the raft.

It was then that I decided to lift up my head and forget my failures of not reaching the dolphin.  So I wiped off my face with the towel that appeared in my hand.  Luckily, the towel was red so I would not have to worry about my mom getting mad about the blood staining it.  I had to weigh the raft again so I knew for certain it could float still.  So I took it to a weighing station over by the dolphin that I could not reach earlier.  But then I realized I had made it to the dolphin so I did not need to use the raft anymore.  The dolphin was large and made of pure marble.  I sat down beside it and cooked some meat over a fire.  I looked in the distance and saw a mob of very angry looking geese approaching me extremely rapidly.  I thought back to math class; good times there.  The geese looked as if they wanted to hurt me so my natural reaction was to hurt them.  They began to flap their feathers and everything slowed down.  The light dimmed, and the music began playing.  The geese flocked towards me, and I propelled them in different directions with the use of my incredibly fast Neo-like fists.  Feathers flew everywhere and were so dense and thick that I had to use Clorox window cleaner to clean the skies.  This was a daunting task because the sky is so big.  With no motivation I eventually gave up.  My loss of motivation must have been contagious because the herds of geese began to turn away seeing that they were never going to get to me.  I sat back down and continued eating my meat.  The music stopped and the lights brightened.  It was time for rest.  So I went to sleep.

My eyes closed and I began to dream of my childhood friends.  We ate ice cream on my front porch; we played tag in my backyard; we watched the sun go down on a hill near my house.  Everything seemed right and most of all, true.  My family was there for me, and my heart was at ease.  Truth was living in my dreams, and the tasks I performed earlier in the day melted away by the sweet simplicity of indifference.  Waking up was harder than ever.  My body felt heavy like a rock and I felt like the air was water, pressing down on my every ligament.  But I got up anyways and hopped away from the sculpture which had so perfectly acted as my dwelling place.  I began to hop faster and faster, striving to reach a destination unknown to me.  My arms pumped rigidly, back and forth.  My leg pulsated with the sound of my heart.  Eventually I reached a hole in the ground.  I jumped in and regretted the act immediately.  Harrison Ford was standing on his tippy-toes whipping snakes.  I wanted to leave this hole full of snakes so I called for Targus.  He came, as always.  He has never let me down.  He pulled me out of the hole, and I hugged him and threw him on my back.  I then floated away from that place and traveled to a pool where Targus and I could listen to music and swim.  We did flips off the diving board, and I hobbled around the pool making fun of myself for losing my leg.  The sky became dark and from the clouds appeared a man who told us he was going to kill us.  He blew wind stronger than a hundred hurricanes toward our direction, and Targus and I went inside.  As I was making my way to my car, a tree fell on my only leg.  I screamed, woke up, went to the bathroom, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, drove to school, and began to learn.